♥. V O N . S O U L . K R A Z Y .♥

Astro Chinese New Year Music Video Schedule

2011-11-09T02:33:00.001+08:00

Can busy really make someone lose focus on something in the heart? LOL~ For me that's just another foolish way to make someone more lonely, make someone miss their lover more. I just get busy to make money. You know why money matters so much. And I'm kind of lucky to be still able to have jobs like this. This will be the last big shot for 2011.

Astro Chinese New Year Music Video

The schedule:

11 Nov -
8am Dong Zhen Temple, Jenjarom
4pm depart to Tringkap, Cameron Highlands

12 Nov -
8am Sungai Palas Boh Tea Centre, Cameron Highlands
5pm depart to Ipoh

13 Nov -
8am Sam Poh Tong Ipoh
3pm Ipoh railway station
6.30pm depart to Penang

14 Nov -
9am Clan Jetty, Penang
1pm Penang ferry
6pm Khoo Kongsi, Penang
10pm depart to Alor Star

15 Nov -
8am Dataran Tanjung Chali, Alor Star
2pm Medan Budaya, Alor Star
5pm depart to Perlis

16 Nov -
8am Great Day Old Folks Home, Kuala Perlis
1.30pm depart to Tanah Merah, Kelantan
(7 hours trip OMG! Hahaha!)

17 Nov -
8am SJK (C) Yuk Cheng, Kelantan
3.30pm Padang Merdeka, Kota Bharu
6.30pm depart to Kuala Terengganu

18 Nov -
8am Kampung Cina, Kuala Terengganu
2pm Pantai Batu Buruk, Kuala Terengganu
7pm depart to Kuantan, Pahang

19 Nov -
8am Kampung Pantai Beserah, Kuantan
12pm depart to Johor

20 Nov -
8am Johor Ancient Temple, Johor Bahru
2pm Tan Hiok Nee Cultural Street, Johor Bahru
5pm depart to Johor Bahru airport
7.15pm flight to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

21 Nov -
8am Peak Nam Toong Temple, Kota Kinabalu
3pm continue

22 Nov -
1pm depart to Kota Kinabalu airport
3.30pm flight to Kuching, Sarawak

23 Nov -
8am Friendship Park, Kuching
3pm Tua Pek Gong Temple, Kuching

24 Nov -
1.50pm flight to Kuala Lumpur
4.40pm depart to Melaka

25 Nov -
8am Christ Church, Melaka
1.30pm A'Famosa, Melaka
7pm Jonker Street, Melaka

26 Nov -
12pm depart to Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan
2pm Pantai Teluk Kemang, Negeri Sembilan
8pm depart to Kuala Lumpur

27 Nov -
8am Kuala Lumpur

28 Nov -
8am Pavilion Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur

I don't know how exhausted will we be, but I guess the most exhausted won't be the 3 of us. So we have no qualification to get frustrated or whatsoever. Haha. I guess we'll only be tired of waiting and traveling here and there with our heavy luggage. HAHAHA.

However it is, I will not frustrate over my job and money. I guess I will enjoy this trip and job to the max. Get to learn new places and travel to cities I've never been before such as Kelantan and Kuala Terengganu (I just dropped by at airport and move to Pulau Redang~ LOL~). It's part of my job. I know I must do it no matter how tired it is. Because I believe my hard work, will bring me and my love closer day by day.

Let's see what I can contribute about my trip to this blog.
(:

A Long Distance Relationship

2011-11-08T00:25:00.001+08:00

Having a long distance relationship, is like having an on and off relationship with the same lover.

They love each other the best when they can finally meet, like what the other couples usually do.

They get heart broken when their lover is gonna leave, as if they're going for a break up.

Once they are separated, the communication part is as if the chasing stage. Chasing for a recovery.

Once they meet, is like having a reunion, having each other in relationship again, with the same lover.

The truth is that, they are still in love even though they're far apart.

But the bad thing is that, they cannot reach out for each other immediately due to the distance, as if they never own each other before.

However, they are still in love.

A long distance relationship makes you realize, pursuing a dream is no longer the most important in life.

What starts to matter their life is the time.

Then the money.

Some couples buy expensive branded goods for their lovers but we don't.

The truth is, we spend more than the others, because we spend it on 2 pieces of printed papers: THE RETURN AIR TICKETS.

Airport is always the happiest place to meet, but also the saddest place to leave.

Sometimes they wish if they could only buy a single-trip air ticket, and never return.

They can listen to their lover's echo of noise once they step into their room, then head down and go to bed, sleep.

Every night before they close their eyes, they have to repeat telling themselves, again and again, there will always be next time.

Most of the time they do not know how to appreciate each other until they're gone, then regret and heart broken.

Grabbing their own heart, and remind themselves again, wait for the next time.

They see shadows of each other at places they spent together before and feel sour as if it will never happen again anymore.

But deep in the heart they have to tell themselves, there will always be next time.

A long distance relationship, separated by seas, islands, different time zone, different language, different culture.

But they are just part of the challenges that test how long and how far they can make it together.

Sometimes they scream, they tear, but not willing to be heard by anyone.

They always lose to time and money.

But never give up to stand up again to pursue love as their new dream.

Sometimes they wonder, how many times they need to get heart broken to see their lover leaves, how long they need to recover from it and how to overcome this weak heart?

Sometimes they do not know the meaning of spending time everyday, the same usual life, which looks like a life of a single person.

But they just spend and spend, work and work, for time and money, until the day of reunion.

Some day, in their life, time will make them learn to be tougher, time will prove to them.

All the obstacles that they have gone through will reward these two little souls a forever.

24/10/2011 - 5/11/2011

2011-10-24T00:50:00.001+08:00

24/10, a special day for me with few meaningful things happening:
- the month of the Scorpions is here! Let's sting!
- my 7 months anniversary with Thạch Sơn Tùng. Oh yeah you know who am I talking about, the BBoy Kidz Nasty so fresh so dope so wack so funny so nghẻo so ngu so cayyy! Haha!
- arrival of Thạch Sơn Tùng to Malaysia for 13 days! OWHMAIGAWD that's hella lotsa days ever! Haha!

Whenever he is here, I'm gonna be kinda busy. I guess it's fated since he had no choice but to pick this period to fly over. OWH FOR THOSE WHO KNOW MY BIRTHDAY, YOU KNOW WHY HE HAD NO CHOICE. Oh yeah you got it right! Haha! So basically I had fixed my schedule for him to travel in advance like, 1 month ago? HAHA.

27/10: Genting Highlands
28/10: Port Dickson
30/10: Melaka
31/10: A'Famosa Resort Melaka

That's sort of like FIXED because I had booked the hotels. So, PLEASE GOD, BLESS MY PLAN WORKS. Or my money flies. LOL~ Never buy a single thing (except a dress for my birthday, a cheap singlet and 2 cheap bangles) for the whole month, stay at home if there's no work, just for the sake of these 13 days.

My wishes for this year's birthday: MORE MONEY, MORE JOBS, MORE EXCITING LIVES.
Yahoooooo~

無言的更新...

2011-08-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

首先，忽然間很想更新部落格，因為有許多話不想收在心裡，也不想與別人聊。所以選擇寫在這裡，因為我不知道會來看的人是誰，也不管有沒有人來看，純粹想發泄一下。

2009 - 2011

話說那麼快 2012 還有四個月就來臨了。我不是在說世界末日哦～因為感覺離我還遠嘛。這三年裡，自己本身看了蠻多東西，經歷了不少事情，突破了自己從沒想到會發生的事情。我的人生如一條河，順流著，沒有甚麼方向的，就一直往大海流去。不知道自己從哪裡學來的概念，是好是壞，看個人的意見。世上真的有太多看不完經歷不完的東西，可惜的是有許多人逃不過現實的世界，永遠被綁在日夜一樣的生活。如果你是有選擇的，就盡量見識不同的東西吧，所謂人生有多少個十年？說甚麼現在辛苦一點，以後孩子長大了就可以享福。請問以後結婚了，孩子再怎麼長大再怎麼乖也是必須擔心的啊。

小明星？免了。我還是不習慣單獨面對鏡頭說話。那些只是給自己的一種利益，自己資格到哪裡自己曉。一直不停的在換著，以為終於可以停留此地了，結果還是得繼續流浪著。我累了，老了，夠了，是時候現實一點了，不要再跟我談甚麼計畫了，我甚麼都看不見。只想用現在擁有的一切，找回一些我想要的生活，一些我曾經珍惜的時光。

每個人做一樣事情，都不一定得到一致的同意，太困難離譜的方向，不一定要問每個人要不要參與，有興趣的人，自動自己開口對你說。有時獨自獨行也許是悶了，可是有可能學習的看見的會更多。以前有想過留在台灣可能一個月也好，每天上舞蹈班，可是需要存一大筆錢。如果去新加坡也一樣啊，就一直想存錢去外國學習，存錢學習，存錢學習，去不一樣的地方，一直學習。我只是想學習，而不是與一群人在比賽裡讓別人看見我多能跳，因為我比夠了，讓年輕的，比較有實力的去吧，我是時候繼續進修學習。可惜身在何處境，看來一般人都了解，也許話到最後，我只能飛去一個國家而已。所以，夢想難以實現啊～

到底身上所背的痛，是傷口，還是石頭？7月19號晚上，我好記得。8月20號晚上，又回來了，一直到現在。不幸。每天不停的發夢，背著輕微的痛楚，是不是被鬼整啦？唉～無奈～

如果我們的距離不是那麼遠，我們還會像現在這樣那麼要好嗎？距離太遠太近，讓人真矛盾。

Baby ft Halley Crew in Malaysia ♥ (Part 2)

2011-08-07T02:50:00.002+08:00

18.07.11:-

Finally I could sleep until so late but still had to activate my alarm because I had a meeting with Julian at 3pm. I woke up at 12:30pm to get ready but still left hotel late as I was still mad sleepy. Haha. Calvin and Lee BBM me early in the morning because Halley promised them to eat lunch before they went to LCCT. I didn't know anything about this so I didn't wake them up. And I was still sleeping. So they gave up and travelled to LCCT by themselves. Sorry bro. Couldn't describe how tired and sleepy I was. Haha.

I met Ting Dong and Lady Seven in Sunway Pyramid. Do take-away at Chatime and ate at Pappa Rich because Halley had their meal themselves nearby already. I thought of going to Yuen Steamboat for dinner but Ting Dong suggested QQ. So we went to QQ at 8:30pm. They love grilling so much. Ordered beer and finished off their vodka. But too bad I just managed to drink the beer a sip! Because I had to drive. Zzzzzzzz. Didn't get to hancai at all! Haha.

Everyone was drunk! C-Floor to Ting Dong, "Anh yeu em." LOL! Small River to Lady Seven, "Anh yeu em." PHEWWIT! So seweeeeeeeet. So hard to make Small River to say it. He's so shy when it comes to Lady Seven. HOHOHO~ Hakon oi. Learn English ah. Lady Seven waiting for you. HAHAHAHA. They so funny want me and Kidz Nasty to say it too in Vietnamese. We were like, "SURE! NO PROBLEM!" "Anh yeu em." "Em yeu anh." EASY! LOL~ And sealed with a kiss. Hohoho~ Dope! Hello. We're an official couple ok. So easy for us. Haha.

They asked Lady Seven to go Indonesia. I asked her, "Why he didn't ask me to go?" So she helped me to ask him. He said, "No. She always busy." And C-Floor was like, "Oh. Kidz Nasty has some girl in Indonesia." "Really? Huh?" Then Kidz Nasty was staring at C-Floor and C-Floor repeated one more time. My Baby was like, angry, "It's ok... It's ok... I only love Von Chin Maan." Hohoho~ I couldn't stop laughing at his angry mad face. Hehe.

I thought my Baby wasn't drunk! But he told me he was fucking drunk. Cayy! Hahaha. After booked taxi for Richard, SELEEEEEEP! I think I slept with my make up on. EWWWW! :P

Only can see in my blog! Super drunk and hancai! Hahahaha! CAYYYYYYY!!!! WHO IS THIS? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

19.07.11:-

Rushed for check out. I thought we were early but Lady Seven didn't adjust her alarm at all. So we waited for her. Went to JoJo Pan Mee for lunch and then Ting Dong sent them to Sunway Pyramid. Baby and I went to check in at 101 Lake View Hotel in Puchong. We were supposed to go to Putrajaya but Lady Seven had something to discuss with Bobby. So we end up continued sleeping in hotel until 4pm. Rushed to pick up C-Floor and Small River. Fly like a G6 to KLIA again. Kenny reached KLIA later on. So I'm gonna miss these 2 guys so much. Haha.

After check out, eat at JoJo Pan Mee. Yeaheyyyy~

Left KLIA about 6pm. Both of these boys sat behind and I looked like a driver. Damn. They talked about something and I fucked Kenny so badly. He thought I don't understand and didn't hear. Damn! We went to Times Square. It was so jam in USJ. I almost lost in the area. Haha.

Had our dinner at BBQ Plaza. And Baby bought an Obey cap at Zone 5. We walked around BB Plaza. And went back to hotel around 9pm plus. I almost forgot I changed hotel to Puchong already. Almost took the highway to One Utama. Hahaha!

BBQ Plaza Times Square~

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LOL~ Stupid couple dope! Haha!

♥

Finally, it's the world of two people alone again, in a more comfortable hotel. Show me what you got? I show you what I got. LOL~ Bully time. :)

20.07.11:-

I forgot how we naturally woke up at 7am. Looking at the sunrise outside of the window. So beautiful. But the morning was screwed up. Seriously fucked up and speechless. I didn't want to tell him about that but I guess he should know this scar inside me. And it might be a scar in you too. I don't take things like this for granted. I hope you care for me in this thing because it was really a nightmare, a scar forever in me.

So I continued sleeping after a long suffer. It was really sad. I went to sleep while he was sleepless. He woke up earlier than me to check some information. We went to Sunway Pyramid again for Secret Recipe cake. Wohooo~ Eat cake suong qua? Cayyyy! We went to BB Plaza one more and off to Look Out Point!

Kiss kiss! Chiu chiu! :*

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♥~♥

Love you so much until I eat you up. Hehe~

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♥~♥

Hahaha! Old woman but still can act cute. Luckily still can cute. LOL!

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Damn my Papago in iPhone! So useless! I used back the Map instead! No sound but at least more accurate! Made me turn so many rounds up and down. In the end it's so easy to get to the place from Taman Muda. Haha. Simple dinner, night view of KL city, with love. Camwhore to the maximum. Haha. I forgot my wallet. I had to climb down and up again. GODDAMN.

THACH SON TUNG IS MINE! All the girls in the world, please take your hands off from him. LOL! I own this man! ;))

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Omg. Hahaha!

Wow. Handsome! HAHAHAHA!

Bite your ear, bully you. ;))

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Owh I like this pic. So cute so stupid so funny. That is Von Chin Maan and Kidz Nasty. Dope. Hahaha!

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He's a good poser. Can change so many faces. LOL~

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Continued our dating to Taman Connaught pasar malam. Oh yeahhhhhh. Finally managed to walk with him here. Within 5 minutes I met Katoon, Eddie Tan and Jack. Baby was like, wow, so many. Haha. We had good stupid time eating ice. He couldn't finish his dessert and wanted me to help him finish some. I told him to kiss me 10 times, I'll eat one scoop. (Actually I had forgotten about this memory until he remind me. LOL~ Really sorry.) And we continued our dating in the hotel. It was the last night Baby in KL. Gotta appreciate the moments. :)

21.07.11:-

Checked out and went to eat Bak Kut Teh behind studio. Haha. It was raining when we ran into the car. I was like... Even god felt sad for us too. Haha. But it stopped before we finished our meal. Since we didn't manage to bring C-Floor and Small River to Putrajaya on Tuesday, so I brought Baby there after lunch. He told me he was sleepy. But I know he was sad all day. :)

Our rings.

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Anh oi. Nong qua ah. =))

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Finally my love smiles so sweet and natural~ Hehe.

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Haha. Same face.

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Chiu chiu~ :*

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♥~♥

Bully bully. Hehe~

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Aaah. My stupid fat face! Haha! Captured from video!

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We had good time riding the boat and sailed around Putrajaya. 4pm we left the place and headed to KLIA. I copied all the pictures for him then waited for Kenny Kentz. I don't know why. Just couldn't stop it. 6:15pm. It's time for goodbye. Never felt this hard before. Never had this kind of feeling before. Couldn't believe I'd be like this. I think Kenny was surprised too. Haha. The longer I could still see him, the harder feeling I got. Damn. Then he was finally disappeared. Phuuuu... 14.07 to 21.07, such a short time because I was so busy, made time pass even faster.

See you again Baby. Em nho anh lam!

♥

Long distance relationship is really not easy. Need to be strong in every way: the mentality, heart, body, work, financial. And after he's gone, I started to feel time pass really really slow. Can't stop thinking about him everyday. We've gotta keep these memories fresh until we meet again.

September 6 to September 14. Can I make it? Does my financial allow me to do it? Can my friend help me one more time? Mid-Autumn Festival will be on September 12. Haiz. How leh? Not here for the festival, my family sure fucks me like shit. -.- It's ok. We'll see if the situation allows me to fly again. Because I know we can't wait until October. :)

Let's keep walking in this journey together until the end.

Just you and me.

♥.KidzNasty~♥~VonSoulKrazy.♥

Baby ft Halley & East Rider Crew in Malaysia ♥ (Part 1)

2011-08-07T00:39:00.004+08:00

We had 8 days but our time passed like waterfall. With my schedule pack like don't know how to say, almost collapsed everyday driving up and down. Haha. Supposedly we had 9 days BUT someone so dope because he didn't check the flight date properly. He wanted to fly to Malaysia on 13th but the tour agency booked 14th for him. He wasn't aware of it. VERY DOPE AH. Hahaha! But it's ok. We really had a good time together. It's sweeter and more lovely. Hoho~

14.07.11:-

My dad took sister's car to pump in some gas for the air-cond. I was late to KL Sentral to pick up East Rider Crew's Floor Shark, Duckzilla and Lee. I forget what time I left home. It was 2pm plus when we reached Kota Damansara to check in Halley's hotel while they checked in hotel themselves. We were supposed to go to KLCC but they wanted to sleep. So I chilled in their suite until 5pm. Picked up Kenny Kentz at Kelana Jaya station and dropped ERC at Sunway. Then we were off to airport! It was already 6pm plus and Subang road was jam like motherfucker! But thanks god the distance was close from Subang to KLIA. I still managed to reach at 7pm. Flying like a G6 with 120km/h on and off. Anyway, I just managed to drive the car since Tuesday. Sunday was just a testing day. LOL~

Didn't eat for the whole freaking day. So we went to McDonald's to do some take away. Guess what? KENNY KENTZ TREAT ME MCDONALD'S. LOL! Because he kept saying HE GOT MONEY NOW. Haha. Ok ok. Rich boy. Richer than me. OK! I couldn't remember what time they came out from the gate. I spotted a guy who looks like a bboy. But seriously I didn't know it was him! LOL~ I couldn't recognize my own boyfriend! WTF! Because he was wearing a singlet, with a snapback covering his face. He's bald and thinner. How could I recognize him so easily? LOL~ I thought it was some other bboy but Kenny said it's them. Then he turned his face and waved at us. I was like, covering my face, didn't see anything. HAHA!

I was pretty shy. LOL~ Still shy. Because it was only the second time we met as a couple. Hehe. I fly like a G6, I walk like a G6. Haha. We went to Street Nation because I had a practice with Soul Krazy. They were talking with Eric and Bobby downstairs. I went to carpark to take my shoes. I actually wanted him to walk with me so we could have some time awhile. BUT he was so stupid (always) because he didn't get my meaning. So I had to walk to car park in B5 ALONE. *ANGRY* So then they went to eat with ERC nearby studio.

Yeah ah ha~ Halley, ERC and Kenny Kentz in da house (Street Nation Sunway). C-Floor the cameraman. LOL!

I asked him to hold my french fries for me. But he finished it in the car. Nothing left for me except my burger. LOL! Oh my breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then Ting Dong sent ERC back to 7-Star Hotel and I sent Halley to Smart Hotel. I was supposed to eat with them BUT tired like don't know how to describe. I was driving from Taman Midah - KL Sentral - Kota Damansara (lost awhile in Kotaraya) - Kelana Jaya - Sunway - KLIA (fucking traffic jam in front of Summit) - Sunway - Kota Damansara since 12pm until 12am. Dope ah. Finally. I could sleep in peace. Haha! Sleep so sweet. Hohoho~

15.07.11:-

Woke up at 10am because we were going to Genting Highlands! Oooooooo yeahhhhhhhh! But waited for C-Floor to get up and it was already 12.30pm. I was supposed to pick up Calvin and Lee too but my car can only fit maximum 5 people. In the end he gave up to go Genting. But I still insisted to go with Halley because I didn't know where else to bring them to. Damn.

The two young and old cute guys in my car. Haha! I never see before Small River so cute. LOL~ Ha kon oi... De thuong qua! Haha!

Yeehaaaaa~ So happy ah!

It was really jam out there. When I reached One Utama it was already 2pm plus I think. Late late late. Bought the bus tickets and Digi for C-Floor. Then we waited for the bus schedule. Oh yeahhhhh! Up up here we gooooooooo!

Camwhore in the bus. Haha~ Finally we had time to take pictures!

♥

♥~♥

Skyway cable car. Up up here we go!

Hon anh ah. Kiss kiss! :*

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Shit. We had so much food. And the spaghetti is really bad bad bad. Please don't try Pizza Hut spaghetti. Haha! But we had good time eating! They like taking photos of me with so many food! Because my Baby told them, I finished "bun cha" in Vietnam! Normal people can't finish all but only can eat half. DAMN! Because I just ate the dishes, didn't the noodle. Damn my Baby. Haha!

Our Pizza Hut meal. 3 spaghetti, 2 regular pizzas, 4 mushroom soups, 1 garlic bread, 3 drinks and 1 pitcher of pepsi. So much. -.-

With our stomach so so so full (tuong full roi), we chilled in front of Flying Coaster. C-Floor and Small River were shivering because Small River didn't know Genting Highlands is so cold. But luckily my Baby was wearing long sleeve. C-Floor came to Genting before. So I didn't tell them to wear jacket. Haha. And I thought Genting would be so hot. Haha. Then I went to buy 4 tickets of Flying Coaster. Yeahyoooooooo! And we had a cool video of us playing. Yeeeehaaaaaa!

Hehe~

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My bald boyfriend and Hip Hop Von. LOL~

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Two grown up lovers still so childish but lovely and sweet. Haha! I don't know why he wanted to carry me. Hehe~

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I love you ah. So much much much much~

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Too bad we couldn't continue anymore due to the cloud. Chilled in Starbucks First World and travelled back to One Utama at 7pm. My Baby told me he kept looking at me when I slept. Damn. He really loves to look at my stupid piggy face. Haha. After we reached One Utaman, rushed all my way to Zouk because it was already 10pm. So they had to chill around KLCC and NZ until 2:30am. Huhu. So long, boring and sleepy.

Then we flew all the way back to Kota Damansara. And we had a special guest in the house, LADY SEVEN. LOL~ And I still feel the bed can fit one more person. So huge. Hehe. Sleep so lovely ah. Good friend and boyfriend. Oh yeah~

16.07.11:-

Another early morning to get up. Phuuu. And we were almost late to the venue. My boyfriend so selow low low low. Haha. But we still managed to reach the place, with me dropping them first and parked the car after that.

Everyone looked at us was like, wow. Wow. Wow. But I never like to be so exposing. So we had our McDonald's lunch and stood separately like we never knew each other. Haha. Event ended so quickly at 5pm. So we went back to hotel. Managed to sleep for one hour and I was off to my cousin's wedding dinner. Seriously I felt like dying. Haha. Super duper tired face even my make up couldn't help me better.

Thanks Yusuf for a nice picture during first day of Floor Combat.

♥

Then at Zouk as usual until 2:30am and rushed back to Kota Damansara. Totally DEAD. Died in the middle of my good friend and boyfriend. Sleep in peace. Haha~ Oh yeah. Phu beo in the house... Finally he made it to Malaysia but just for one day.

17.07.11:-

The real day is here. Final of Floor Combat. Lady Seven had to drive my car while I sat on my Baby's lap because we had 6 people in a small car. Haha. So lovely ah~ HEHE. Felt that Floor Combat is like battle AND die because most of them didn't get enough rest and they had to start another battle already. My boyfriend just finished his battle with CK then he had to continue with his solo battle. He didn't wanna join but judges picked from each Top 16 crew. Haha.

Stupid small little boy eat. LOL!

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My feet were damn freaking tired of kneeling, squatting because I was recording the battles. Small River injured his wrist. And my Baby's old knee injury came back during his last move for 3rd and 4th placing battle. I was like... I couldn't do anything for him. But he knows how to treat his injury. Twist twist twist, back to normal. But I know it was still pain a little bit. The worst is Small River. Damn. And he still managed to get Champion for BBoy of the Year. Haha. Dope.

Floor Combat 2011 Final. Picture by Floor Shark.

♥

After the prize presentation, chilled and talked awhile, went back to hotel, shower and rest. Rushed back home to take my white boots for Felicia. My dad saw a whole bunch of guys in my car. Haha. 9pm we had to reach Bedroom. I thought I was late. In the end we were still too early. Haha. So we went to eat at food court. Richard brought them to eat Vegetarian food. I was like... WHAT? And it's really sucks. HAHA. My ramen tasted much better. But I always can't finish my food when I'm too tired and in a rush. So I gave half of my food to my Baby since his meal really sucks. C-Floor couldn't stop staring at my meal. Hohoho~ And pity Small River, he vomited out his food because Malaysia food makes him sick. I thought it was something to do with his wrist. Phew. So worry about this boy.

We went into Bedroom. And Fellest asked me if I burn the CD. NO! Damn! I forgot. LOL~ Luckily he borrowed me his MacBook and CD-R. So I went out and sat on the floor in front of a kopitiam and surfed using Baskin Robbin free wifi to download the song from my email. PHEW! Successful! I still hadn't make up! Rushed to toilet and make up make up. Dressed up dressed up. I was so shy to walk back into Bedroom. Then my Baby was like, "Oh. Sexy......" Damn! Haha. They ordered beer for me. What? You want me to drunk and dance? Haha.

I couldn't take it if someone I care is watching my performance. So in the end my performance was wack! Grrr... My Baby was like, camera kept chasing my position. Zzzzz... I like the ending part when I dragged C-Floor came out to do dougie. 7 girls showcase. First time ever. Haha. It was such a special day. Special performance choreographed by Lady Seven, songs mixed by me, performed by Becky, Yvonne, Lady Seven, Von, Yimei, Felicia and Ting Dong. I wish Sin Pei could join us. :) I still couldn't imagine what if we performed Panic Attack. I guess that's gonna be super krazy for both Soul Krazy especially Lady Seven. LOL~ Because Panic Attack is the hardest track to cut. But in the end the whole song is too long so we decided to drop Panic Attack and leave Run The World, Inspector Gadget and Fly Nigga. Whole new of Soul Krazy. That's what I'm talking about. And Run The World seriously made me krazy. LOL~

Then I was sitting beside my Baby whole day. I was too tired and thirsty to party. I couldn't drink more alcohol to make myself higher because I had to drive. Or else I was gonna party like mad shit. Haha. Yeah~ It was really boring seriously. Urgh! It's ok. NEXT TIME. :)

C-Floor seriously smoked the whole dance floor. He was drunk like shit. Because Flesh Maze gave them some alcohol. Haha. We felt proud to have Halley Crew, East Rider Crew, Flesh Maze and 7$ Deep Trip in the house. I hope everyone had fun, had a different activity in Malaysia, even though I was really mad tired.

We left Pavilion around 2am plus. Ting Dong and I were Malaysia drifting from Pavilion to Federal to Kerinchi Link to Kota Damansara. Dangerous. But I just wanna jump on the bed quickly. MAD TIRED. Haha.

So it was the last day for ERC in Malaysia. They hancai in their room while I shower alone in my room. Instead I always like to chill for half an hour at least before I remove my make up and shower. Need to calm down myself first. Or I'll really collapse. Haha. So I took out his gift. Didn't manage to open it since Thursday. The artwork was on top, then the t-shirt of our love and the shoes. I didn't know he put the t-shirt and shoes in the box! But I had already taken the t-shirt from his luggage. I kept finding where's my shoes that he promised me. LOL~ And he was wearing his own pair earlier. Looks more of like my Vans. Hehe.

I opened the artwork. Seriously full of hand-drawn art and some of our pictures when I was in Hanoi. When I flipped to the second page, I read the words. The feeling was like, something grabbed my heart so so so painfully. I don't know why. Simple words. But after I read, I was speechless and didn't know what to say. I'm sorry to say that out of so many million words I heard from guys in this world, this is the first time I felt so touched with words. It's because I love him, or just simply because the words are really touching? It was really complicated and confused. I feel blessed for having this boyfriend. He always gives me something I never managed to experience before in my life.

"Keep The Moments. I Love U Forever."

Fla all day? LOL!

♥

Yooo WAZZUP "MY OLD WIFE SO CUTE". So I tried to make something True for u. Whether it's nice or ugly.. it's like all about my Feelings for u :) Just Keep it beside you Everyday!

There many more things beetween us are coming! I hope, we always together ♥

"smile everyday"

KiDZ NASTU ♥ VON Chin MAAN

Kidz Nastu? What? LOL!

♥

Tell me if the animal looks like a bear or monkey. LOL!

♥

Hippieeeeeeeeee!

♥

I wanted to take pictures of all the gifts. So I tied the shoe lace because it was still unattached to the shoes. When I grabbed the left side (or right side. Couldn't remember. LOL~) of the shoe, there was something inside. I took it out and thought it's something to do with the shoes. Open the bag and it's a box. Hmmm? Opened up. It's a ring. Ok. This is really surprising and completely speechless. A ring from a guy. I didn't expect he'd buy me this. Totally SURPRISED. I guess he really wants me to marry him so so so desperately. HAHAHA! But he put it INSIDE the shoe. I was like, WHAT? Looks so... BAD. LOL~ But fresh idea. HAHAHA!

The gifts!

The bottom of the cover has our pictures too! Surprise again!

♥

Ring.

♥

So I thought of giving him a surprise. I kept the ring inside the drawer. After I was done taking pictures. I put back everything nicely like I never opened before. When he came in he asked me why I still hadn't shower yet. I said, wait. LOL~ Then I shower. After I finished he asked me to open the gift. I said I wanna open with him. He went out instead, and gave me 10 minutes to open it. I put it on the bed, on his sleeping side. He came in and got mad. Haha. So hard to make him open the gift for me. I kept covering my eyes. He was so shy but I kept bullying him. LOL~ So fun. He got mad a little and I said he's old old old. I told him he forgot when he gave me the gift, the t-shirt was unfolded and the shoe lace was separated from the shoes. I told him I had opened it earlier. He got mad more a bit. He looked for the ring and asked me where's it. I kept acting like I didn't know anything. He got more shy and more angry. He kept all the gifts back to the box, "It's ok. It's ok." LOL~ I was like, what? Hey. He was still so shy and ignoring me.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I lied on the bed immediately. Silent. I was trying so hard to calm down but couldn't. I thought he couldn't see it because I wiped off so quickly. I didn't mean it. It just shed by itself naturally. I guess that was what my heart felt when I read the words. Finally I know the answer for the speechless mode. He kept wiping for me. I kept smiling and laughing. He asked me why? I didn't like his gift? I said NOOOOOO. He just made me love him more. And still it couldn't stop shedding. LOL~

I told him to put on the ring for me. Like proposing. HAHAHAHA! But the ring is too big for my fourth finger. So I had to wear it with my middle finger. Haha. And another surprise part is the ring is laser with his name on my ring while his ring is laser with my name. Son Tung, Chin Maan. Hohoho~

Thanks god, for a stupid wonderful sweet boyfriend, who still loves me so much, and tries so hard for our love. I love you so much Thach Son Tung. ♥

To be continued. :)

Hanoi Day 5 & 6 ♥

2011-07-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

After Halley anniversary party, we were chilling in Puku Cafe to pass the time. They had showcase at 6am. LOL~ We took picture for the whole night. Unable to sleep is seriously torturing. When I'm lack of sleep, it's either I get mad or I get "drunk". Haha! With the people I love, I tend to get "drunk". LOL~

Sleeping so sweet. Haha! But just pretend.

Showcase finished at 10am. Went back hotel to copy the pictures and videos. My movements were very slow motion. Tired and sleepy. I think it took me 1 or 2 hours to finish copying, removing make up, taking shower, eating and tweeting. And someone had already become DEAD MAN for a long time. So I watched TV alone. Can't remember what was I watching. Music video or some English movie. Hoho~

Samsung Colby II showcase. Hahaha!

Totally collapsed until evening. 2 dead people. Haha! Then we were watching some dance videos, with my eyes couldn't open and couldn't see because I wasn't wearing specs. It was 7pm already I think. Then we went to eat dinner with his family. PIZZA. Haha! I thought they would bring me to eat Vietnamese food. LOL~ And once again... SHY. HAHAHAHAHA! Damn it. Suddenly they wanted me to visit his grandmother. OKAY. Awkward moments again because I don't understand, and they don't understand. Yeah. SHY. Again. LOL~

Relatives and brother.

Last day chilling with everyone in Hanoi. We went to night market, eat hot pot and chilling in a historical place. Then back to hotel and watched football. WHAT? LOL~ That's boring. Haha! After I finished shower, someone slept like a dead man again. NOT MOVING AT ALL. WTF! LOL~ It was 4am when I got to bed. I thought of staying awake until 9am. But the night was really still long staying awake alone with a stupid sleeping dead man beside me who slept so peacefully. LOLLLLLLLL! So I slept too.

Night market.

Last place of chilling with everybody even though they were all tired.

I remember he kept reminding me to wake him up before I go to airport. I was like, yes, sure. He scared I left silently without him. HAHA! Yeah. If I'm willing, I would, so that I wouldn't have to see how sad you are and how sad the situation would be.

And yeah... The time had come. Time to get up and get to airport. I put few things deep inside his Crumpler bag when he was taking shower. Yeah. You can say I'm stupid. Haha. Whatever. Fuck the taxi because the radio kept playing sad songs. WTF! Hahahaha! Even though I couldn't understand, but the music is sad. Damn it. So I kept looking out from the window again. I hope nobody saw it. LOL~ Fuck this kind of moments because it's really sad and suffering. LOL~ For me I wasn't sad because I had to leave, I was sad because how he held my hands made me feel all his sadness deep within. I said before, if only I could take all his pain and sadness away. But I know, we have to dissolve it ourselves inside. I had tried my best to do what I could to make your days. So you need to overcome this on your own now. :)

In taxi.

I was too early to reach airport because the counter was not opened yet. Damn. 2 hours of waiting. Took picture again. And recorded some stupid video. WTF! Damn funny and shy. HAHAHA!

All-time favorite. Haha!

Stupid sunglasses couple.. Haha!

I had to leave now. I went to the officer, he kept looking at me and him, he kept smiling at us. I was like, "What? What's so funny?" He asked me, "Your boyfriend?" "Yeah. Vietnamese." And he continued smiling. Damn. Haha.

Sent messages to Satan, Phuc and Bao Chau. But before I wanted to send to C-Floor, he already sent me. LOL~ And the last one I sent to was him because the message was long and most meaningful. Haha! Guess what? His mobile phone was out of battery. DAMN IT! Hahaha. So he didn't know there was something in his bag until the second day. VERY DOPE!

Back to Malaysia. Life was different. Worse because I wasn't used to it living without him. Better because I've grown up as someone different with new experience in most of the things. It took me some time to back to life in Malaysia. I didn't know what I had to do next. Just continue walking this road until I've found the answer.

♥ 24.05.11 to 29.05.11 ♥

Our official first time...

Sometimes I don't know what's the meaning of everything. Why I always choose the toughest road to walk this life? Because I like something challenging and different? Because no one can inspire me here? Because no one I can trust here? Because no one can make me feel better? So now we are both living in different pain in different countries. I can't remember since when I can live a life on my own so well. Even now life is different, I'm still living a life on my own here. Earn hard, work hard, all for one thing. I don't know if this is how life should be. But I know it's time for another change again. I can't just earn hard, work hard and spend on one thing forever while waiting. It's time for a better plan, since all I can do is wait.

I've already tried my best to tolerate. Tried my best to make the distance closer. I fell down, I was sick, I was injured, I was hurt, to make wish come true faster. But I know the more I want it to turn real, the further and harder it is. I really don't know what else can I do. I'm just a girl. You know I don't have to be like this. I'm just a girl. I wish I can be a stupid, weak, naive, tame girl and fully rely on someone. But everything in life keeps improving me to be smarter, tougher, stronger, more independent BUT more arrogant, stubborn and cold-hearted.

I wish you can be greater regardless of age. I wish I can just fully rely everything on you. I wish I can just be the girl to have all the pamper.

Life is not about being unlucky for not having this and that, not about having fucked up people around giving you shits. It's about how you turn everything to go your way. Every lucky person has their own side of unlucky, whether they want to reveal it or not. What you see from the eyes always can't be judged correctly. Depends how deep can you discover the truth.

Sometimes, I really wish I could be a man. So that I can throw away this weak part of myself. So that I can fight stronger and go further. But I'm just a girl...

27.05.11 Hanoi Day 4 ♥

2011-06-28T00:17:00.005+08:00

It's an important day for Halley Crew! And also a long day for everyone. It's the 8th Anniversary Party people! I got up pretty early because he wanted to go home to get his costume for showcase. And he had to reach Hanoi Rock City at 3pm. I set the alarm, woke up, shower, make up, changed my clothes and woke him up. I actually woke him up for 10 times, with my secret weapon. HAHA! What the hell.... It was only a kiss. LOL~ He opened his eyes, so I expected he'd get up. Maybe he thought it was only a dream. So....... He went back to sleep...........

=..="

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Seems like I still could buy him some time. But he got to pay for that. MAYBE HE WAS TIRED? LOL!!!! I DO NOT BELIEVE!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!! LOL!!!! So this was what I did. Hohohoho~ So fun. ;))

Basically I slept beside my mobile phone and he wanted me to sleep next to the wall because it's safer. So you should know which side I slept. Look how much space he had taken. LOL!

And look at his tattoo. Hehe~♥

Kidz Nasty: Von, kiss me... ZZzZ

Von: Damnnn

Testing new application in my iPhone. The app is so cute and funny.

LOL!!!!

When we reached his home, he went up and came down in 10 minutes. I was like, so fast? He sent me to KFC and bought me a drink. My mind was full of question marks. So I think he needed a long time to keep his clothes. Don't ask me why there's only KFC in Vietnam instead of McDonald's even though the price for the food is both same. Haha. Maybe chicken is better than burger? Hmmm. I don't know.

Waiting inside KFC. And my face looks MIRACLY young and cute!

LOL!!!!

After we finished our lunch, we were pretty late already. We went to buy mattress and met C-Floor there. Then bought alcohol and someone was so cute because he forgot to take his wallet. LOL~ And went to take the mattress, and headed to Hanoi Rock City with C-Floor.

Everyone was busy setting up the backdrop. Oh yeah.... Finally I met Phuc in Vietnam. Hohoho~ Cuoi di Phuc. Hahaha. So cute. Then everyone was busy connecting the DJ console, microphone testing and rehearsal. But I was like a useless person sitting there watching. Haha.

Hell yeah~ This is why we are here babe!

Setting up! Someone looks so cool and handsome over there!

Hohohohohoho~ ;))

Phuc in da house! Hell yeahhhhhh~

The super naughty and funny cutie Bom Bom in da house!

LOL~

Again, seriously, I had never worn a couple shirt properly with a guy before. Just when I was thinking to wear a dress, I wore my first Obey shirt in my life to the party. I think it's better to wear street style to present myself better. LOL~ And he told me he'd wear the same too. Hehe. SHY~

Kenji said: Have the look of husband and wife!

LOL!

Our Obey couple shirt~♥

We walked to the store nearby with T-Fresh to buy some food and drinks. There were already some people waiting for the party. Everyone started to get busy changing their attire. I remember T-Fresh asked me to choose between bow tie and neck tie, converse and nike cortex. Cute and funny guy like him should wear a bow tie. LOL~ That's really cute. HAHAHAHA!

My Baby and the bow tie man. LOL!

Met his sister and yeah... She's same age with me but we both look so different. She's married and has a baby. But me? I just have a new boyfriend. HAHAHAHA! Totally 2 different ladies with the same age.

His sister~

They're like stars of the day. Of course they are because that's their party yo. And I better back off because these stars have some real dope fans around. So I think I should stay low and quiet behind. Haha. That's just me. Low profile and I do not like to get people's attention, even though my attire had really caught some attention for me. LOL~ Someone did not take photo with me together with the backdrop and his costume. Ok ok. So I'm just the camera girl, you are the superstar. Haha! But I was forced to do a shout out for the anniversary because Hisei and I were the only foreigners who attended the party. International? LOL! That's so dope! Hohoho~ But my shout out was wack. Damn!

Let the party begin babeh!

Damn Tung Min. He did this on purpose! To make me jealous. Or he was pretending as me?

LOL!!!

Halley Crew, the superstars of the night.

I went into the room with... I couldn't remember who. LOL~ Phuc? Or by myself? But I was standing with his cousin brother and Hisei. Then we were the only 2 ladies grooving, swagging and dancing in the place. Everybody was watching? Yeah. I don't care. Club and club music. That's dope. Hohoho~

I stayed in a corner but the place was getting more crowded and packed. So I had to climb on the stage to find myself a real good spot to at least BREATHE. LOL~ I just don't like crowded and packed place. Haha. I'll feel very lost and suffocated. Then he came to me, and we watched Halley stupid pictures on the projector while hugging together. Hohoho~ That was really sweeeeeeet. ;))

They had their showcase and then solo introduction for each and every of Halley Crew member. At first I didn't realize C-Floor had said something during Kidz Nasty solo-ing until Yang commented on the video. C-Floor, "Kidz Nasty already has a girlfriend, but still can have more girlfriends." WHAT THE HELL........ DAMN! LOL~!!!!!!!! Fucking stupid. Ok okkkkkkkkk. Who wants to challenge with me, just come. I'm not scared. Get to know me! LOL! WTF...

Halley Crew showcase

Bboy Kidz Nasty solo introduction.

Is that my Baby? Hohohohohohoho~♥

Small River in da house. Cypher!

I couldn't remember why I kept going up and down the place. All I had was a sip of beer given by Phuc. But only a sip. LOL~ Then I was pulled to meet his mom and brother. I was like a wood, standing there, kept smiling and laughing. Damn myself. So shy. His mom kept touching my face. His brother told me that his mom said I look pretty. AAAAAAH!!! SO SHY! LOL~!!!! And Kidz Nasty was gone. Damn him. So I stayed there with his brother and mom. We talked and... talked. His mom gave me her fan, the chinese type because I kept sweating due to the spot light. Then I thought of going to the toilet and his mom went with me. When I returned, his brother was gone. So we went around to look for him. After that they went back home.

His brother and mom.

And so coincidentally the ladies were wearing black carrying no bag, and the guys were wearing white carrying a sling bag? So it's really a happy family.

LOL!!!

Phew... My heartbeats were so fast. Haha. And yeah his mom wanted to eat dinner with me on the next day. Phuuuu... When we went up to the place again with him, Phuc, Stork, etc, Phuc was supposed to follow behind me but he changed position. Then I felt someone hugged my left leg. When I turned around, it was Stork. I stoned and looked at Kidz Nasty who was walking in front of me, he stoned too. Everybody was stoned together for real. All I did was laugh and WHAT???? I couldn't remember if there was someone telling him to let go, or he realized by himself that he was actually hugging my leg. When he lifted up his head, he jumped and kept apologizing to me and Kidz Nasty. I just laughed. But I guess someone didn't look really good with what he saw. HOHOHOHO~ It was ok for me because I knew he thought I'm Phuc and Stork was fucking hancai and drunk! LOL~ So funny. Joke of the day.

Everyone was fucking hancai, drunk and krazy in the room. If I had my own bottle of beer or a big glass of whisky mixed with Coke, maybe I'd hancai together. But too bad I was so fucking conscious. LOL~ So I recorded all their stupid funny videos. Haha. So long I didn't manage to observe such hancai situation. And I couldn't remember when was the last time I observed. Chinese New Year 2010 or few months after that in Melaka. Haha. I don't care about the weed smoke in the room because it did not really affect me. All I care is HAPPINESS.

Everybody hancai!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!

We went downstairs chilling for hours. He gave me a drink and let me drink. I knew it was alcohol and I was really thirsty. He thought of cheating me that it's mineral water. Haha. So he thought I'm a stupid girl. LOL~ It's Vodka and it really tastes bad. I hate Vodka. Haha. So I have a bad boyfriend, who cheated his girlfriend to drink an alcohol. HAHAHAHAHA! But I let him cheat because I just wanted to drink something, I just wanted to drink some alcohol. LOL~

C-Floor. OMG! LOL!

And this pic is really funny! Monkey Dope and Small River!

LOL!!

Phuc hancai! LOL!

Satan hancai too! Butterfly! I love this pic! Because I have a dope face! LOL!!!

After hours of chilling, finally we moved to Puku for supper. And yeah, my second meal. LOL~ We waited for T-Fresh to finish "take food out" behind the cars. Mountain was feeling not well with his stomach but they didn't want him to "take food out" yet. LOL~ Everyone was drunkkkkkkkkkk. But only my Baby was still steady after drinking so much. DOPE. Haha.

Honey kiss kiss! Hohoho~♥

Baby kiss kiss! Hohoho~♥

The two stupid lovers~♥

LOL!!!

Pose until too tired and boring! LOL!!!!

Party ended. I will continue this in the next post: Day 5. Hehe~ Because we basically didn't sleep for the whole day.

26.05.11 Hanoi Day 3 ♥

2011-06-27T00:59:00.001+08:00

Again. Two super lazy asses in da house! Simply because we are too comfortable having personal time with each other. Hohoho~ I remember I slept earlier than him. I don't know why I felt so sleepy. Usually I can sleep at 5am. Hoho~ Maybe 50ml of alcohol made me sleepy. HAHA! And when I woke up, I saw the TV was still switched on. What the....... Too boring after tweeting and yeah... Sexy back. Time for some pictures. A tattoo that he shared to me last year. Hehe.

Good morning, Halley!

PEACE!

HAHAHA!

Tattoo makes a man looks sexier! Sexy back!

HAHAHA!

So we went to have lunch. Pork Rib Rice. I remember drinking mineral water for my every meal. Or tea. Healthy. Haha! And went to buy movie tickets. Hohohoho~ Didn't expect to watch Fast 5 in Hanoi or probably didn't expect I still could watch this movie in cinema. Since end of last year, I seldom visit cinema already. Hehe. Chilling in arcade playing some stupid games. Two OLD humans played 5 years old game? LOL~ Just kidding. Back to teenage time when I didn't get to have this kind of moments during high school. Ah huh.......

Had a drink near the shopping mall. I like coconut jelly. QQ. Hehe~ And his drink was some kind of lime, jackfruit. I don't know what fruit is that. FUCKING SOUR. DAMN! Haha.

Ooooooo.... Sour qua!!!!

Then we stopped by at this place called Song Hong. I can't remember what is the name of the river he told me. There's a railway track in the middle of two roads. People vendoring at the side of the road. Food, etc. There's a field across the river, a corn field. Famous agriculture in Hanoi? I don't know. Haha. Seems like a lot in Hanoi. Too busy taking pictures until I didn't realize about the sunset. But the sun was red.

Song Hong

Sun set and corn field

The red sun set vs Von

When I'm out of expressions to make.... LOL!

So, you like pig huh??????? LOL!!!

The most normal picture of us. Hahahaha!

He looks so fucking stupid and funny. But I like. LOL!!! MR BEAN!!!!

Do I look like a barbie doll in this picture? HOHOHO!

You're my rock star. You rock my world. I'm krazy for you!

\m/

FRESH!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Signature look. Hohohoho~

Take pic take pic take pic.

Boringgggggg... LOL~

Back to the lab. Chilling and watching dancers practicing there. Sometimes I feel maybe street dancers are really meant to practice in an open and public place. The feel is better. Sometimes I feel studio makes street dancers lazy. They have a nice comfortable studio to practice, with mirror, fan and air-cond. But not everyone appreciates this opportunity. Or maybe street is the real home for all of us.

Lab

He bought me a pack of sliced mango with some spice inside. I can't remember since when I can't take spicy food. I like spicy but my tongue and throat not allow me to take more spicy. Damn it. And he bought me a big pack. I couldn't finish it. But all he saw me was I kept eating and eating. WHAT? I don't want to waste food, especially if someone buys me the food. Haha. And the person who bought me the food is him. Can't even waste more! LOL~ He promised to bring me for dinner, but...... Late late late. Haha. But it's ok for me. Mango made me full. Haha! So we went to cinema after lab. Woohooooo~

Seriously, I never hold a guy's hand in cinema before movie started until movie ended. Hohoho~ Usually just held for maybe 5 minutes, 10 minutes, disappeared. LOL~ Thach Son Tung, you're so lucky~ ;)) Oh yeah~ There was only Viet subtitle unlike Malaysia cinemas, we have Malay, Chinese and sometimes English subtitles too. Hehe. Thanks god I can listen to English. Haha! It's a good practice because Malaysians over rely on subtitles!

Our first movie ♥

After movie, eat eat eat. But couldn't eat anymore. Still full. Haha! The food is something like herbal chicken, but with spinach inside the soup. Spinach? Dope. Haha! So I know why he wanted to eat spinach. HOHOHOHOHO~ ;)) Cayyyyyy... As usual, I slept earlier again while he was busy with my laptop. Or.. TV? Can't remember. HAHAHAHA!

And hell yeah... What the hell... Stupid funny night. I will never forget this! Really stupid and funny! I don't know why VON NGAI CHIN MAAN was so stupid. Maybe all I wanted to do is HIDE MY STUPID FACE. Hahahaha! Seriously it was ok for me. I did not mean to have such a stupid reaction. But I reacted from what you reacted. I was like, NOOOOO.. He didn't know what I wanted to take. So in the end to cover the stupid moment I created, I locked myself in the bathroom. LOLLLLLLLLLL!!! Seriously stupid. Couldn't imagine I would have this kind of stupid reaction. Really not me at all. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Picture of the day:

You make me love you more~♥

25.05.11 Hanoi Day 2 ♥

2011-06-21T06:41:00.002+08:00

Two lazy asses in da house yo! LOL~ I forgot what time we woke up. But I remember we slept until very late and left hotel very late. Wore my white lace dress that I bought for my magic showcase. Wore it specially for him. But too see-through so I had to wear a short pants inside. Haha. I think he was stunned too seeing me wearing this. Hehe! It was his birthday! So everything must be special for him. Haha! But I'm sorry. I still love my sneakers. I was wearing lace dress with a pair of yellow Puma suede. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Von DOPEEEE! Always special and different.

Had our first meal around 3-4pm Vietnam time. Vietnamese called it "bun cha". There is a bowl of soup. There's some sliced vegetable in the soup. Some kind of melon. There's noodle, which looks like beehoon but ain't beehoon on the table earlier before customers sit. Some vegetable on table as well. After you sit, they will serve you a bowl of pork. Bacon, minced pork balls, etc. And he ordered one more crunchy roll with pork inside.

So you have to dip the noodle into the soup and eat it with the pork. That's how it's eaten. Seriously the pork is too much! I couldn't have too much of noodle. So I had to give up the noodle and focus on the pork. He praised me I'm so amazing because I could finish the bowl of pork. And he even told Bom and others I could finish it. He made me like some kind of big eater. Damn! Haha. I don't know how many times I had to explain that I just ate the pork and didn't eat others. Of course I could finish it. Damn him! Hahahaha! He couldn't finish his bowl because he had too much of noodle. I asked him don't eat the noodle already. He didn't listen. I think usually 2 people will share one bowl of pork. But he ordered 2 bowls. End up wasting the food. Haha!

Picture tells a thousand words! This is "bun cha"! Look at the bowl of pork. This many! Very dope! And also look at Baby's face. Haha!

After lunch, we walked around the town and lake. Everything that was happening was like a dream. I couldn't imagine whose hand I was holding while I was walking, who I was walking with and where was I. After I realized who the guy is, I'm still walking beside him, never let go. We did not talk much. We just walked together, side by side, holding hands~♥

Walk walk walk!

First time wearing a Neff. I think I look good with cap. Hehe~

We went to Highlands Coffee for coffee supposedly. But we end up having apple juice. Haha! And waited for Bom and Satan to come. Their face looked fucking hancai. Haha! And again, I couldn't understand a thing. Haha.

View of Hanoi city from Highlands Coffee. So peaceful and calm.

Baby loves to show me this stupid face. And he's really good at such face.

=))

I think we really have the same stupid face.

=))

Ah haaa.. That's the face of Neff.

:))

Baby, what are you doing with my hair?

Aaaaah. Let Baby find out I was taking his picture. Hehe~ We look so stupid but yet so sweet and natural in this picture. All-time favorite!

♥♥

C-Floor called for help in Hanoi Rock City. So we ride all the way to the club to check out the venue for Halley 8th Anniversary party. And it's quite a distance. Quite far and isolated from town. I think some rich people live in the area.

The mat rempit. LOL~ The ugly devil riders!

=))

He sent me back to hotel while he went home and bought some drinks and whisky. I waited until almost fell asleep. Hehe. Didn't think of changing my clothes but afraid too cold so I changed again. Felt funny with the dress. Haha!

And... Went to hancai! But I didn't. Taste of whisky is really.... Hmmmm... More Coke please? Haha! And met more friends there. But I guess all were too shy to speak. English, Viet? Sorry. I still can't speak Viet yet. Haiz....... Everyone want me to freestyle. Zzzzzz... Not now. Haha. Talking to new friends make me so stressful because I'm so shy and I'm worried we don't understand each other or I speak wrongly. But I tried. Haha. When I found someone else who can speak Chinese, I was so happy. LOL~ If only he could..... LOL~~~ ;))

Baby's 2nd birthday cake. Tung con, that's how they call him.

Aaaah. So much of melted candle. Remove remove remove.

Cut the second birthday cake. Drink drank drunk and hancai. Haha. He wanted me to take photo with Halley Crew and Cypherz Team. Haha. Seriously, I felt so proud to be in the photo. Never had this experience before. I was supposed to be the VIP among them, but I guess they're the real VIPs. Haha.

♥ Von and Halley Crew ♥

♥ Von and Cypherz Team, junior of Halley Crew ♥

So sweet and lovely but my face is so old because I can't take picture with my right face. LOL~

Honey I want kiss kiss you~♥

^*^

Baby I want kiss kiss you too~♥

^*^

The two old people in da house! Bboy C-Floor, president of Halley Crew.

;))

This is what old people do when they don't want to admit they're old: ACT CUTE, YOUNG FOREVER!

=))

Mountain Return, C-Floor, Ego and Josua, fucking hancai!

=))

Then everyone left. I can't remember to Puku Cafe or to supper. Yeah. I was forced to eat again. We ate "pho". Small River, T-Fresh and Baby continued to drink beer. But they kept cheating T-Fresh to drink more. And he's really a cute and funny fella. I think Baby told me T-Fresh vomit after he got home. LOL~

Then we went back to hotel, shower and sleep. And the birthday was officially over in 2011.

Happy Birthday Baby, once again.

I'm here for you, specially to spend a meaningful birthday with you, to show you how much I love you, no matter how much I have to sacrifice.

If this is for you, I'm willing to, because, I really love you.

♥~VONKIDZNASTY~♥

24.05.11 Hanoi Day 1 ♥

2011-06-04T18:35:00.003+08:00

From Malaysia time 12:00am onwards, I didn't online my Yahoo Messenger, our all-time-keep-in-touch chatting software. In addition, I was still busy packing my luggage. Seriously one day of packing is really not enough! I packed for half day and yet I still feel there were lots of things I hadn't packed yet! But the main point is, I wanna make him so fucking sad. YES, SO FUCKING SAD. Haha! Because we can't skip chatting for 24 hours. And 24.05.11 was our second month anniversary. I knew he'd be so sad. And I knew when he saw me right in front of his eyes, he'd be so happy. Since my plan was sort of screwed up, this is what I could do. At least, happiness after all-day of sadness.

To be really honest, I knew my sister had figured out I was lying. But she knew I don't care. I know everyone was worried. So I had to prove that I could make it by myself all alone. I slept around 5am and got up at 6:30am. Went to Bandar Tasik Selatan to take the KLIA Transit to KLIA. It arrived around 7:25am and I was so early at KLIA. 8am. Check-in my luggage which weighed accurately 20kg. WTF! Haha! I brought around 20 sets of tops including vests and jackets, around 10 sets of pants, 4 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of sandals and 1 pair of heels. And many more! Dope? Haha! I had a reason for this.

7:25am

In KLIA Transit.

"Can you gimme a seat next to the window? Thanks."

"Okay. :) "

Dope.

I thought my gate is somewhere over the other side of the terminal. So I went into the departure hall right after I checked in. Then I discovered I didn't have to take the shuttle train because my gate is in the same terminal. Damn! The terminal is so boring yo! So I had no choice but to chill in OldTown. It was only 8:30am. Had my breakfast all alone. Camwhore and realized my skin complexion is so fucking terrible yo! Totally lost my mood to camwhore. Took out my make up tools and covered my wack face. Then rushed to the gate and walked into the plane, MH752.

8:30am

This is where I'm flying to!

Eating and chilling in Oldtown. Coffee keeps me awake!

I remember I was busy sending so many tweets before I boarded. I thanked so many people who had wished me all this while. I was afraid if I couldn't tweet anymore. Haha! The feeling was so complicated. Seriously, I wanted to cry. I did. But just a little bit. I kept looking out from the window. I couldn't believe I boarded into this plane. Was I dreaming? I kept asking myself. Everything was so unbelievable. I was worried about myself. First time, in a plane to overseas, all alone. Paid every single little thing by myself and I was all by myself. To somewhere I had never been before, to somewhere strange, all by myself, even though there'd be someone coming to pick me up. I just wish to land safely and return safely. Don't make my trip regret and wasted.

So I slept for awhile, had my lunch, continued sleeping again and then woke up to write a diary before landing. The trip seemed so short even though the duration is 3:25 hours. I was so fucking anxious to get out from the plane! I switched on my iPhone and texted Bboy Satan immediately. He was in Noi Bai International Airport already! It was Vietnam time 1:10pm (Malaysia time 2:10pm).

Yes, welcome to Hanoi, Vietnam, baybeh! Yeeehaaaaaaaaaaa!

Had my passport checked and stamped by officer. And then went to toilet. "Ve sinh", the first words I learned in Vietnam. Haha! Waited for my luggage. They grouped 3 planes of luggages into the same belt. I had been waiting for so long until Satan called me. Haha. Cayy!

1:15pm (Vietnam time)

Arrived at Arrival Hall, Noi Bai International Airport Hanoi Vietnam!

Oi oi oi. Where's my luggage? So long yo!

Yes, here you go! Went out from the gate and I saw him! Woohoooo! So freaking happy to see him man! Because it proved that I was really in Hanoi! Omg! I still thought I was dreaming. So we went to get a taxi to my hotel. Of course I'd prefer to stay quiet because I was so tired, man! But I tried to speak to him and talked about the midnight surprise planning. Satan thought I'd find Baby on 25.05 night time. I was like, NOOOOOO. I was saying 25.05, 12:00am, which means the same day I arrived Hanoi. 25.05.11, 9pm would be too long to wait! Haha! I don't want to waste my time without meeting him yo! Haha! Even the 10 hours in Hanoi without seeing him was seriously torturing me! Hehe.

The most surprising thing Satan told me was, they had no habit of celebrating birthday at 12:00am midnight. They usually celebrate at night. You know what I'm saying? So I asked him, "So this will be the first time? I'll make a history for you guys? I'm so dope and fresh?" Haha! To be honest, yes, I am! Hell yeahhhhhh!

Satan paid for my taxi fare. Hehe. Lucky! Checked in the hotel and I had to climb 3 floors of stairs. Omg. Haha! He carried my 20kg luggage for me. Omg. So fucking heavy man. Haha! Then he brought me to eat. My first meal in Hanoi, "pho"! Which is koay teow! But a lot better! Served with beef, onion and some vegetables. Something like beef noodle in here but I never try local beef noodle before. Haha. I like it plain. Woohooo! Dope dope! Then he brought me to buy Vietnam simcard. And lastly to cake shop to order Baby's birthday cake. I think there's no Secret Recipe in Hanoi. And I seriously had no idea which cake to choose. So sorry to pick a wack one. Haiz. There's no whole chocolate cake. Secret Recipe cakes are much better. Haha.

3pm

"Pho", first meal in Hanoi! Dope!

Do Thanh Tu! Hahaha! Thanks for everything!

Came back to hotel around 4:30pm because I said I wanted to rest. I slept for only an hour. Felt a little dizzy and tired. Then I realized Vietnam banned Facebook! AHHHHHHH! So I had to login using BlackBerry. And the Maxis simcard can't fit into the wack BlackBerry simcard slot! So I had to abandon my Maxis until I return. Basically I wasted the whole evening struggling with the firewall, proxy or whatsoever shit that blocked my MacBook surfing Facebook. But all methods failed! I was texting with Bboy C-Floor and Bao Chau. Twitter with everyone. Then had some sleep. But the iPhone notifications and messages kept waking me up. Cayyyy! So basically I slept for just an hour since 6pm to 10pm. So dope yo!

4pm

Chilling and camwhore in hotel! Hahaha!

8pm, couldn't stand with thirst. There was no kettle in the room. So I thought of going out for a walk to buy some snack and water. But there's mineral water selling in the hotel. Bought a big one and climbed back up into my room. Haha! I felt so dangerous outside. And I think they don't understand me so I better stay in the hotel. Satan brought me out for dinner at 10pm. Then we came back hotel, and I continued chilling, make up and changing until 11:30pm!

10pm

Dinner near hotel! This is nice! Hehe!

It's time! NERVOUS.

We reached Puku Cafe at 11:40pm. Satan said they were all here already. Cayyy! So fucking nervous yo! The kids outside kept coming to us to sell chewing gums and candy. They kept looking at the cake. Hmmm. They look so pity. But I was too busy and nervous to entertain them. I was trying to calm down. We were struggling with the candles. Satan kept pushing me into the cafe. I kept saying WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Took so many times of deep breath. I just couldn't stop getting nervous.

I mean, hello? In a country that you're not familiar with. For a boyfriend that you started a relationship with him in internet. With majority of people that you do not know who are they but they know who are you. And you never did this before in your life for someone you really love. What do you expect yo? Everyone knows Von Ngai Chin Maan is a fucking cool girl, who has never been so sweet and lovely in her life before. All these were really against her image yo! For what? For LOVE. Haha!

11:55pm, finally Satan dragged me in. I brought the cake in my hands and followed behind his back. I lowered down my head because I was still unready. They knew it was a girl behind him. Everyone there, except C-Floor was stunned. All I heard was, "Ehhhhhhhhhhhh........." And I think most of them were still so curious and clueless who the hell is this girl. I passed the cake to Baby and I forgot who took it away then. He gave me such a big and tight hug. I was almost breathless. Everyone was staring. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH~ So shyyyyyyyyyy! Hahahahaha!

They didn't sing birthday song to him. And he made a wish straight away, and blew the candles. Huh? Such a special celebration? Then I was busy tweeting to report my situation. Also a method to hide away my blushed face. Haha! Oh yeah~ I forgot someone took our picture before he made a wish. Sorry, I was so fucking shy until I hardly could remember anything! He couldn't take his eyes off me. Aaaaaaah! Shy! He was shy too. Haiz...

12am

Finally! Our first pic together after officially in a relationship! I love this pic so much! We look perfect! Haha! And main point is, I look like a mix? Like Chinese, Korean, Japanese, American, etc etc! Hahahaha! And I'd rather he wears a cap than showing his long Bruno hair! Hahahaha! You can see how happy he was in this picture. A smile from heart.

I remember everyone was hancai after smoking weed. T-Fresh was entertaining everyone with his unknown stupid trick. Haha. I didn't know what was he saying. But I had a video of him in Facebook.

Damn my fringe. Haha!

First kiss after we're officially in a relationship. Also the first kissing picture between us! They say we have a beautiful love. Haha~

Then we left Puku Cafe. And back to my hotel. Ain't it funny and stupid of asking me, "You want me go home or stay with you?" Wack. Haha! But the situation was so much different when we were in Singapore and Muar. I was so brave, daring and steady that time. But now, so fucking shy. Haha! That's me yo!

No tight schedule, no alarm, no time disturbance, no appointments. Nothing. Just hug each other, hold hands, and sleep together peacefully.

♥♥~Happy Birthday my Baby Kidz Nasty. I love you so much~♥♥

The gifts that I placed on the desk. I remember he switched off the light but I asked him to switch it on again. I pointed the box and asked him to open it. Haha! So wack right? Shy!!! :P

♥~Love Fever~♥

2011-05-16T17:59:00.001+08:00

Hohoho~

Since when I'm getting crazier over him?

Good or bad?

HAHAHAHAHA!

Stupid question!

;))

Those who have known VON NGAI CHIN MAAN for so long had never seen me like this before.

Hahaha~

They never had a chance to use the word "SWEET" on me, because I had never been sweet to any guys in my life.

Hohoho~

Please call me the ICE-HEARTED QUEEN.

So cool and cold all the time.

*WINK WINK*

But that doesn't mean the heart cannot be melted.

Sorry, I feel bad to my ex-boyfriends.

I was such a wack girlfriend for you guys!

Dare to confess my mistakes.

I remember the day I reached Muar, I saw a meteor, but I couldn't believe what I had seen.

I asked BBoy Taower if it is, and yes, it really is!

There is saying that if you see a meteor, you must make a wish because it'll turn real!

But there is also saying a meteor is formed by a dead star that drops to the earth.

It's a bad sign because the world has changed, more stars are dying.

However I did make a wish, but I couldn't remember what was it.

Haha!

Should be regarding my career and future.

Whatever it is, I believe the meteor had awarded me a miracle.

A miracle of having him in my life~

My MacBook wallpaper~

So messy.

But I don't care because I love its variations!

I'm sorry to those who use my MacBook sometimes especially Lady Seven and my sister.

I know you guys will roll your eyes so badly!

HAHAHAHAHA!

♥~♥

Sweetest moment when we are separated is during webcam.

We don't know if we're watching each other in the same time.

But I remember looking at him without taking my eyes away.

And I will make sure myself in the best condition before I broadcast my webcam.

No tired face, no sleepy look.

I believe after a long working day, I can finally manage to see his face, all my sleepiness, drowsiness and tiredness are gone.

Because I know all my hard work has awarded me a sweet moment with him.

Webcam!

I asked him to kiss me before I show him the birthday gift.

I remember he had to look left and right, make sure his family not watching him when he gave me his kiss!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I LAUGHED SO SO SO BIG LIKE I FUCKING CARE LADY SEVEN, TING DONG AND BOBBY WERE HANCAI IN FRONT OF ME.

And he cried while complaining I bully him.

HOHOHOHOHOHOHO~

So cuteeeee and funnyyyyyyyyyy.......

HAPPINESS~

Thank you my Love for brightening my day with your lovely art~

And the pig too!

HAHA!

CAYYYYYY!

♥~♥

I couldn't imagine now so many of the people in the country know my SECRET!

I couldn't imagine he's such a fucking famous person in Vietnam.

=))

I don't know to what extend, because I don't care, as long as he's a dope person with what he does, enough.

So most of them are paying attention on me.

Imagine being scanned by most eyes from top to toe, back to front, left to right.

So stressful with my style of dressing!

HAHAHAHA!

Either smoke them or get smoked!

=)))))))))

But for sure I'm gonna smoke all of them.

Kakakakaka!

And so wack I cannot postpone!

Boring to the max!

Yes, thanks to the fucked up job or else I need not to worry about the length!

My iPhone 4 wallpaper~

Don't ask me why I picked these 7 pictures.

I picked randomly.

♥~♥

Everyday when I get up, I have these visions in my eyes.

Feeling so nervous and anxious.

I cannot talk about it.

Even when my friends mention about it, my heartbeat will jump so fast.

Too complicated to tell the feelings.

Too many first times in this soon-to-be history.

Haha~

Well, just step it up for what I believe to be worthy.

Step it up for independence.

And I haven't told my family I'll be following Kenji before double confirming.

Whatever.

I don't care.

My iPhone 4 lock screen~

I remember Yvonne caught me looking at my iPhone screen for so long without moving an inch.

"Why? Miss him ah?"

And I was like, "Haha......"

Didn't know what to answer.

But deep inside the heart, the answer is YES.

♥~♥

So, you guess, huh?

DOPE.

Ok.

Since you did not ask, I will continue to be the Pretend Queenz.

Maybe you have the answer already but did not tell, or do not dare to tell, because you are Pretend Kingz.

=)))))))))))))))))

Whatever it is, we will keep pretending!

So I will make your day upside down and very very wack!

Be a devil now!

Hohohoho~

I have been considering the possibilities that Becky mentioned to me.

Yes, it might happen.

BUT I'M PREPARED FOR IT.

Actually, not bad though.

Because everything will be cut short and save time!

Hahaha!

I don't know!

Just freestyle when the time comes!

Praying for the best.

Praying for safety.

Praying for peace.

Praying for happiness.

Praying for success.

♥~♥

艱難的路，依然艱難

2011-05-09T00:46:00.001+08:00

第一次感覺到茶飯不思是很痛苦的

尤其是你與家人在外面一起吃飯

要把食物吃完

不能擺個情緒化的臉

一心只想著快點回家

從昨天就很擔心很擔心

越擔心就越傷心

如果我有在現場支持他就好了

預料的成績

難免還是會很失望很傷心

語氣與字眼雖說無所謂

只是不讓彼此擔心

為甚麼總是那麼的不幸？

下午撥電給他幫他打氣

雖然都不知道聊甚麼

兩個人在電話里笨笨傻傻的笑

還是很害羞

還是不敢說那三個字

好像高中戀愛一樣

事實依然是事實

唯有悲傷今天快樂明天

依然只能這樣而已

為甚麼這段愛情那麼難走啊？

難道真的要一直考驗我們才能得到真正的肯定嗎？

我知道當初自己作這個決定時就要對每樣東西負責任

知道往後的日子都很難挨

都很艱難

可是日子一天比一天長

考驗一關比一關難

雙方都拼的傷痕累累的

可是拼出來的成果都是負面的

難道這段戀情真的不被祝福嗎？

唉

我並沒有後悔自己的選擇

當初自己是很矛盾

不過我很肯定自己的感覺

只是害怕受苦而已

但是仍然選擇踏一腳進去

如果當初他沒有甚麼動靜

也許現在的大家會比較安樂

一天比一天想念彼此

一天比一天需要彼此

一天比一天愛彼此

到底這些考驗何時才能結束？

是不是要逼的大家崩潰才停止嗎？

總是會選擇一些很艱難的路

也許是上帝在懲罰著我過去所做的錯誤

不敢埋怨甚麼

只能拖著疲累的身軀，奮鬥的心

繼續闖下去

闖到分離的來臨

悲傷

只能向別處發泄

不能一直放在心裡拖累著自己的情緒

發泄完畢後

歸原艱難的軌道

再繼續熬下去

幸福

是要自找的

要明白幸福是因為你很幸運的得到上天的祝福

你辛辛苦苦的幹活

你堅持的信念

感動了上天

請不要浪費上天賜給你的幸福

否則有一天上天會把你們的一切都沒收

天下的情侶們

請珍惜你的另一半時時刻刻都能陪在你的身邊

請珍惜你們都能一直傳簡訊撥電給對方

而我與他

卻要努力尋找、奮鬥、爭取與珍惜每一個可以相見的機會

痛失了這次的機會

不懂要等多久才等到下一個機會

而且每個機會都有不一樣的考驗

都有不一樣的阻礙

一個接一個

一直連續著

塔羅牌真的很準

好無奈

好無助

繼續祈禱著...

祈禱～

2011-05-08T04:23:00.000+08:00

好久沒有那麼渴望過

因為我不想期待變成失望

那種感覺很痛苦

一開始還不覺得怎樣

因為我知道是不可能的

很樂觀

不懂從何時變得很擔心

原來輸贏真的很重要

也許是因為知道他們真的很努力

有的因為拼命練習導致心臟弱而進醫院

不能參加

有的病倒了

那就是他

等待是件很痛苦的事情

我知道他比較需要我

可是彼此都無能為力

只能這樣而已

互相祈禱著

盡一份力

保佑大家能順順利利渡過每一切困難

雖然離重要的日子還有數個星期

可是明天比較重要

決定大家下個月的約會

可是很難

他自己應該都覺得很難

只能自己跟大家做到最好就可以了

奇蹟

很少會再發生了

我雖然希望有個奇蹟

只能依靠運氣和奇蹟

祈禱著

如果大家是值得一見的話

請保佑他們勝利吧！

可是可能性很低很低

從昨天就悶悶不樂

都在祈禱著

如果大家都祝福我們的話

請你也幫我們祈禱吧！

路越難

人會越累

累了就很想放棄

不過當困難過去了

人會變得很堅強

每當他自己在情緒化時

都會表示在照片或聽著的歌曲里

總被我發現他的內心是多折磨的

每次都很心酸

知道自己無能為力

只能時時刻刻都對他說

寶貝，我愛你～

看來大家都運氣真的很不好

他受傷了

所以還是算吧！

看開吧～

不過還是會祈禱著～

Dance vs 41 Hours Without Sleep~

2011-04-30T06:37:00.000+08:00

It's 6:02am now.

Hair is still wet because I don't wanna use the hair dryer. It's too noisy and I'll disturb sleeping Lady Seven.

Since I've to get up at 7am later, so I decided not to sleep, again.

I was practicing at studio, and went to Sungei Wang to spend some time before Zouk show.

10pm Mishiyan drove us to Zouk with Kelvin Kok.

*TEEHEE*

Lucky!

I remember having only Crispy Creme for my first meal.

Then I was drinking only hot Milo at NZ.

Just don't feel like eating while working.

So that means I did not eat a proper meal just now!

*TEEHEE*

As always feeling so satisfied after freestyling at Zouk.

Feel like I've become a better dancer.

Haha!

But still trying.

Walking and dancing on high heels and boots.

Torturing my feet and toes completely!

I couldn't feel both now.

*NUMB*

Outcome of the day after dancing so hard and dancing so into the music:

BLUE BLACKS!

And some WOUNDS.

Didn't realize this until I was having my shower.

Pain in my heart but still feeling glad.

Because it shows that I really do my best and dance my best for a good show.

I didn't realize I danced so hard!

Blue blacks, as always~

I'm just a girl.

But I work very hard.

For them.

For him.

And for myself.

I didn't request for more.

I just need more caring.

And more trust.

But it's ok.

It's just a small pain on my body.

It'll heal by itself.

I can cure the wounds by myself.

Although I'm just a girl.

Yes~ Thank you to dancing on high heels!

So I have to reach 1 Utama at 9am with Soul Krazy.

Our showcase will start at 1pm.

Gonna go look for my brother, Joe Joe Yew Joe.

Long time didn't see his stupid face already.

Haha!

Chilling all day while waiting.

Then again, 11pm freestyle show at Zouk until 3am.

Go home, remove my thick make-up, shower, blow my hair dry.

And it'll be 5am again.

I wish my body will feel tired.

Because I don't know how far my body can bring me to now.

At the end of the day, I'll be officially sleepless for 41 hours.

Hehe~

It's been a long time I didn't sleep for nearly 2 days.

I don't think I will faint.

Strong girl, as always.

I have to.

Because I cannot rely on anyone.

It's all me and myself with the people around and the society.

It's ok.

I'm used to this life.

I need to get used to this life.

It's 6:30am now.

Silent morning.

All slept.

Lady Seven is sleeping so soundly beside me.

My mom had sent my dad to work.

And me, listening to the chirping birds alone.

Having no one to talk to.

Having no idea what to do.

Just write and write and write.

My long hair is still not dried yet.

But it's ok.

I haven't been doing this for a long time.

Enjoying myself.

Don't worry.

Even if life is sucks, or people screw up my world, or even I've to encounter the painful life alone, I'm still a hippie.

Because I'm used to this life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED MOM!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I Can't Be Hippie~

2011-04-29T03:04:00.000+08:00

Have you ever experienced a complicated and miserable situations, such as:

...Working from day until late night?

...Working a double life?

...Working as a double identity that none of your close ones know?

...Working as someone you never thought you would?

...Working as someone you never wanted to?

...Working in a miserable place with miserable people, looking at you miserably?

...Working so hard that you do not know what is tired?

...Working on high heels and boots until you cannot feel your legs because they get too painful and numb?

...Working so much to pay off so much of debts?

...Working so much for a security so that everything is safe and smooth?

...Argued with family for what you want to do?

...Argued with family for whom they rejected?

...Argued with friends for what you believe?

...Searching everywhere for a solution so desperately?

...Searching help from everyone so desperately?

...In the end of the day everyone turned you down because they couldn't help you?

...In the end of the day God turned you down as well?

...In the end of the day you were at the dead end that led you to nowhere?

...Fighting against depression and disappointment alone?

...Of all the situations above, just because of a person?

...Of all the situations above, just because of a small wonderful surprise for that person?

...You try to hide all the situations above from that person, hoping the person will not get worried?

...You try to hide all the situations above from that person, hoping what you've been trying will worth it, even if others may see it not worthy?

...You try to keep this little wonderful surprise as a secret with friends, hoping when the surprise is successfully given to that person, the person's expressions will be full of excitement, surprised, shocked, thrilled, kraziness, bla bla bla?

...You smile everyday when imagining his expressions on that wonderful day?

...You just don't bother all the situations above will give you troubles because you still believe yourself able to make everything successful?

It's true that sometimes she's lost.

But she'll always try to get to know herself better.

And have you ever experienced complicated and miserable feelings after you've found out all the efforts above, are screwed up by one small misunderstanding from a person?

I always believe there'll be sunshine after the rain.

But I have to believe as well, that sometimes the rain will take over the sunshine too.

Tell me, how should you face this disappointment?

Sad?

Angry?

Neutral?

Whatever?

I always believe rain is a wonderful gift from heaven.

But the fact is sometimes rain does hurt and make people sad.

Perhaps it makes the disappointment worse.

To me, the disappointment is beyond my limit of acceptance. Too great to accept. I was angry. Then sad. Then disappointed. Then regret. Then I don't know how should I feel anymore. Numb and emotionless. I've been telling myself to forget, accept and think positively. But when the situations above come into my mind, they kill me right away. I've breached my principle, I've breached my limit, to work it out, and to keep everything so wonderfully. But still, in the end, I don't know how it happened, everything was well-planned, is now ruined. I keep repeating thousands of times "I DON'T KNOW" to myself. Because I seriously do not know how should I face it. Totally lost.

She was once lost in her peaceful dream.

But she was hit by betrayal and now she's lost in her reality.

What was the feeling when you were sharing my secret? Or you accidentally shared? I don't know who. And I don't know how. What were you thinking? What was your intention? I don't know! For happy? For a trust? For a friendship? For love? All for him? But you ever thought of me? My feelings? Have you ever thought what will happen after you share? I don't understand. Maybe because I'm stupid, to share so much. You do not know the feelings because you will never be me.

It should be wonderful. Maybe it is still wonderful for all of you. So that is how wonderful you think for him, by betraying my little secret. But for serious, you will never know no matter how small is a secret, there will always be a great story behind. You can never understand my situations. So can you please think before you share a secret to someone else? You think it's fun? What if you were in my situations? Still hippie?

I'm sorry. I will calm down. I don't want to make it such a big problem. It's my problem. My fault. My bad. I learn my lesson. I will not blame whoever that told the secret. Because it's my wrong decision to share it to people.

Sleep with the pouring rain outside of the window... I can't believe it's really raining now. Damn.

Good night.

♥♥~I Love You~♥♥

I will try, to be hippie.

Soon.

Freedom vs Money

2011-04-28T14:27:00.003+08:00

My Monday started with a word "BOREDOM"! Hahahaha! Feel like someone useless and slacked at home. Only thing I remember was eating in master room with mum, sister and fat baby Marcus. Haha! Watched some youtube videos and got myself into the Hip Hop mood all night! Woohooooo~ And finished off "Cop Out" the movie in my iPhone. THAT'S IT. Gone my boring Monday! Do I have to mention about my sweet talk moments with my love? Haha! That is the climax of the day because he always brightens up my day with stupid funny conversation. Hehe~

My Tuesday, slightly started off with a little excitement because I had an interview at 4pm. I was clueless about the job description but the lady in the phone call reminded me that it's a job with HIGH PAYMENT. So I was ready to give it a shot because seriously I HATE INTERVIEW. You know why? Because I screwed most of my interviews. HAHAHAHAHA! The first impression is always wack. They couldn't feel me.

So I reached this company opposite my house, called IMB. The lady explained to me that this project is hosted by JTI. When I heard of JTI, I remember hearing it somewhere before! I couldn't recall. Then she explained, "Japan Tobacco International." YES! I danced for the launching of Camel "Black And White" with Seven before. OMG. Such a fate. Haha! She was impressed with my studies background, job experience and one more funny thing, she asked me whether I'm good in ice breaking, how am I gonna make the people there come and talk to me. You know what did I answer?

"I think the most important thing before you start talking with people, is to smile. When you smile, you look friendly. Second most important thing is eye contact. When you have eye contact with the people around, and you smile, they can feel your friendliness. Then, they will feel comfortable with your appearance and come to you."

I think she was amazed with my answer that she didn't further ask me anymore. And I was like, "YES!" If she asked me again, I was afraid I couldn't answer anymore. So if I'm selected for second interview, I'm gonna deal with SINGAPOREANS. Singaporean businessperson, not easy to handle I supposed? Haha. You know what I'm saying?

The lady told me, "In your next interview, dare yourself to speak English. Be it broken or not." So I answered, "Yes, as long as you speak with confidence." OMG! What happen to me? I sound like a teacher, a monk, or some sort of it! HAHAHAHAHA! But I hope I can do much better next time. At least I know I had improved a little bit after all these years since the last time I attend an interview. HAHAHAHAHA! Wack wack!

So now my concern is the offers they give, the conditions and my commitments.

THE JOB:

...Monday to Friday or maybe Monday to Saturday

...9am to 5pm or afternoon time (8 working hours)

...Duty free zone in KLIA/LCCT

...ONE YEAR CONTRACT

...ONE MONTH BONUS after finishing the one-year contract

...Check and update stock

...Write a report few times a week

...RM3,500 + RM500 travel allowance per month

Attractive huh? But one year contract. I wonder if I can get this so-called annual leave? Like how many days a year? 7? 14? Totally have no idea about this!

DILEMMAS:

...My dance...

So I will be less active in dance after this, unless I go for the night session, which is not Soul-Krazy style. We usually go for afternoon session. Healthier. Haha! And all the morning and afternoon dance performances will be screwed up. Hopefully the work is only Monday to Friday because most shows happen during weekends! And which means freestyling at Zouk is still safe. Haha.

And it's my greatest fear, to reject my dance jobs, not all, but most of them. I can feel it. Practices, all will be messed up. But it's also my greatest fear is when the jobs do not come in, so I'll have to wait.

...My magic...

Not a very big concern though. But still a backup career for me. They're planning for a magical theatre which I think need at least a year? Well, you screw me, I screw you. That's it. So they'll have to find a better person to replace me, sometimes. All the best to you all. -.-

♥♥...My love...♥♥

I was planning to have my holiday in Vietnam either in July or August. To find my love, Lucy Ngo and also the boys. But, we'll see again after everything is confirmed. Career always comes first. So, if it happens to be confirmed that I'm working for this, he's gonna be responsible to fly over to find me. HOHOHOHOHO~ ;)) ♥♥

Some people were born with wealth where they don't have to worry so much about the financial, because their family will settle everything for them, they have a bright future. When they fall, their family can simply lift them up again. Even when some rich people will say, "My family is rich, not me." But have you ever wondered, when you need money, will they let you starve right there without giving you the money? Yes I believe all families are the same. But rich people will always do this without worries, hesitation, troubles, problems, fears, etc.

Some people were born with normal wealth and some were born so poor. Of course the poor ones will always strive for anything in the world that they can do to survive. No one was born to do something indecent, cheap, dirty, awful, and even crimes, by willing. It depends how strong is your intuition to stand on the angelic side. But most of the people fail, when they're totally rejected by the society. We can never understand the stories and thinking behind everything that everyone does. What we can do for each other is, understanding and acceptance. Everyone knows the consequences of doing something. Some people risk their life, principle, dignity, etc, of doing it, hoping God to give them a chance soon to get them out of there.

Freedom or Money? There's no balance point for these both. The world is all about money. You step out from your house door, your money starts to count. Unless you wanna live in the forest where you've got all the natural sources for your daily living. :)

I think I'm seriously having enough lying on my bed staring at my laptop. This year is a good year ahead for me. After this year I have to wait until I'm 28 years old. I should appreciate and fight in this year as far as I can to get as much as I can. Yes I seriously forgot what's the feeling of tired because I've not got tired enough from what I've been doing. Which means I'm too relaxed with my time!

WHAT IS TIRED? I FORGOT! YES, FUCK MYSELF! Hahaha! Love getting tired! Because that's when I know I live my life to the fullest! And I'm missing it right now!

Happy First Month Anniversary ♥

2011-04-24T23:05:00.005+08:00

The day you appeared in front of my eyes is like a miracle

I have never imagined to have you in my life

I guess you must be a beautiful gift from heaven

God must have sent you to put a smile on my face everyday

I used to walk in to your life

And I used to walk out from your life

I know you must have waited for me all this while

I'm sorry

Because I didn't know, I didn't realize and I didn't want to expect anymore

But thanks for waiting

Although I don't know how long is that

But we belong together

I thought you were still stuck with your old memories

Some old memories that turned me away

I couldn't believe you would return
Because I thought it would be better to keep you as a good friend
But I must be out of my mind with what I'm doing
Maybe I still cherish how you used to make me smile
Seems like we really belong together

Thank you for believing
Thank you for waiting
Thank you for trying
Thank you for loving

Happy First Month Anniversary
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I randomly made this video

I didn't know why I wanted to do this

Not perfect

Because not enough time, inspiration, sources and creativity

I promise I will do the best next time

When we have more pictures and more sources

This is only the beginning

Of our wonderful love

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thanks for watching
:)

你不要那麼 cheap！

2011-04-23T13:55:00.000+08:00

甚麼事哦？我得罪你哦？當初是你自己來加我，在新加坡時是你先用很驚奇的眼神看著我。之後我也有寫 wall post 給你，你也知道我是誰！現在有女朋友，我還跟你的女朋友跳舞咧，竟然把我刪除？甚麼意思啊你？我又對你沒興趣！干嘛刪除我？很搞笑咧！不要讓我知道是你女朋友的意思！大家都是喜歡街舞，霹靂舞的人！只是因為我是女的關係？哇，很現實咧！不好意思！我也有男朋友！也是 bboy！才不稀罕你！XP

現實！

Don't Lift Me Up So High, And Threw Me Back To The Ground, AGAIN.

2011-04-21T00:03:00.001+08:00

I used to have a secured life. Some time when I had no worries about my daily expenses, when I had no worries with everything I do, when I had no worries with my life. I remember being able to support my friends, not being so calculative with them.

6 March 2011, my life was officially ruined, damaged completely. I was about to give up my trip. But my boss brought me up, and supported by my family. Managed to enjoy my trip to Singapore without much worries. But I will not forgive how it was destroyed. One day, karma will strike you so badly because you deserve it.

Then my life was full of shits. I worked so hard and luckily I was blessed with lots of friends, helpers and supporters. End of March and April are seriously blessing months.

Because of the shits I was given, I changed to adapt with life. I'm doing something I didn't usually do, I became cruel with my words because you made me so. I need a different life, a more stable and secured life. Being a woman, we often feel insecure. We don't know how is our life tomorrow, we worry everyday if we're still able to survive in the society. Don't talk about love. If I can't survive in my life, I can't keep my love at all.

I once gave up with the hope I was given. I felt it's better to treat it as an unsuccessful one. Then I was given the hope again. Waited and waited, and I got screwed up. I had already planned ahead. Relieved a big sigh because I could temporarily get out of the insecure life. It's like you're given a home with everything you need, everything you can do. It's like you can finally see the light in the empty darkness. When you're about the reach your home, when you're about the reach the light, the home is demolished, the light has ran out.

How many times you people wanna lift me up so high and up in the sky? And how many times you people wanna hit me back to the empty deserted ground with nothing at all? Absolutely nothing at all except an apology.

So do you think one single drink can pay me off my loss?

Do you think it's funny?

Do you know how much pain I have to go through deep in the heart because of your so-called wonderful promises and confidence?

Do you know the feeling of wanted to cry but you know the tears cannot help you having a better life, having everything come back to you?

Do you know how stupid and failure I look like with how you tried to manage me?

Yes you understand the feelings, but you don't know how it feels like.

Everything is so wonderful by the words, by the mouth, by the proposals. If you can make all these happening, I will let you do all. But seriously none of it is successful. So should you start to find out, is your convincing skills having problem? Risking your talents, giving your talents so much excitements.

BUT THEY ARE ALL EMPTY.

I tried not to listen to how wonderful you propose everything anymore. Get the fucking paper straight to my face and explain to me when everything is confirmed. All I have to do is to sign that agreement and move forward. Be progressive, no waiting, no more bargains. I've had enough, seriously. I could have my heart-broken for twice, I can't imagine what if it's broken again for third time.

I'm just a small little girl, with a small heart, but a big name outside. I have my limit, I cry, I suffer, I feel sad, because I'm still a girl, and I always get hurt, get cheated, with all the lies and empty promises. So I don't put my heart fully in something seriously unconfirmed, I will pull back if there is a slight negative point, because I have enough with hurts. Love, life, career, everything. I know my outlook seems like nothing, steady, cool, but my heart will get tired easily. Everything happens over and over again.

I know I'm not alone, but when it comes to problem like this, others are just able to comfort you, advise you, but not all are able to make a path for you to move on to a better life. So you're still all by yourself, to find that path. If you think you can help me, straight to the point, don't give me hope if you cannot guarantee with your help.

I try to be positive.

I try to be happy.

I try not to give troubles.

I try to hide from him.

But I have a weak heart.

I can avoid sharing this to him, because he can't help me too. And I don't want him to worry. I think I can settle without him, as always. I just need him to stay the same, love me and pamper me like always.

Enough.

I just wish to see a miracle, a new guaranteed job right in front of me.

I need an outcome, something I can see.

To fill up my insecure.

Is this so hard?

FML.

And fuck you people too.

Busy With Showcase, That's Life~

2011-04-19T01:05:00.000+08:00

Yayyy~ It was a busy month with many showcases but I ain't having enough with it! I wish I'm running to 3 places a day for rehearsals and showcases, and back home like a dead zombie. I'm missing my life during 8TV Showdown 2010, when all of us were still so pure and naive, when all of us were meeting datelines for everything we had been challenged, when the hard times we had been hugging together almost choked us to death, and at least it was all wonderful.

26 March 2011: MyFM Music Awards 2011 at Arena Of Stars

In collaboration with other 19 dancers including:

The mighty home boy, Chriz Ooi (Elecoldxhot)

Dennis Yin (ECX)

Joey (ECX)

Popping Joe (ECX)

Monkey (ECX)

Billy (ECX)

Becky (Soul Krazy)

Seven (SK)

Boojae (Floor Fever)

Hazmi Flip (FF)

Lilo Lil'Love (FF)

Kelvin (Katoon Network)

Elaine (Max Identity)

Jackson (MI)

Faruq (HMC Phlow)

Fuzz (HMC)

Noel (Oh My Goodness)

Akiyo (OMG)

Momoko (OMG)

Von myself! (SK)

Getting ready in hotel~ *TEEHEEE*

We are the dancers~

My mighty home boy Chriz Ooi~

o0o

Lady Seven, "Be your real man real man real man~~~~"

My dad couldn't believe I can do full split! But actually it isn't that FULL SPLIT at all! Hehe~

Woooohoooooooo~

The baobeis~ In hotel after showcase~

Seeing so many Taiwanese, Hong Kong, Malaysian, etc artistes in front of me. But none interest me! Hahahahaha. Ooopsss... You can say I'm so outdated. Or bring me Sofia Boutella, she's my beauty queen!

3 April 2011: Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian 2011 at Arena Of Stars

In collaboration with Floor Fever and other 50 dancers!

Flash mob and Dato' Siti Nurhaliza's dancer!

Yahoooooooo~

Dato' Siti Nurhaliza~ :)

I'm hidden behind!

I'm so blink the blink!

The funny and noisy Ting Dong~

The naughty Nikke Cheang with my naughty seductive kiss~

My girl Yvonne Kan~

Malaysia version of Wonder Girls, again!

4 April 2011: Marlboro x Ice Blast product launch at Double Tree Hotel by Hilton

In collaboration with Floor Fever, ECX, SK, HMC Phlow, Max Identity, Katoon Network and Oh My Goodness again! 18 dancers!

Morning 10am and 3pm!

DOPEEEEEEE!

5 April 2011: (1) Marlboro x Ice Blast product launch at Double Tree Hotel by Hilton

(2) Dato' Siti Nurhaliza "Nostalgia" at Martrade

Reached Double Tree at 8am and waited until 9am. Marked "Bukan Cinta Biasa x Nobody" instantly. Rushed to Martrade and waited. Rushed back to Double Tree but didn't manage to do the last session. We were running from far to carpark like mad people, but still didn't make it. Luckily the client was ok with it! Hehehehe~ Such a fun adventure! I like rushing rushing rushing for stuff like this!

11pm, we were rehearsing for Carlsberg flash mob in Shah Alam with 80 dancers! We were locked in a truck, circled around the factory and ran out from the truck to join with other dancers! Hahahahaha! We looked like labors kept inside a big truck! Illegal labors! Hahahahahaha! Such a dope experience!

Waiting for rehearsal~

6 April 2011: Carlsberg flash mob at Carlsberg Brew Sdn Bhd Shah Alam

We reached there at 7am! I thought of not sleeping but I still fell asleep! And almost pretty late to venue. But we made it! Hehe~ Seven and I overnight at Yew Joe and Yi Poi's house. Thanks for that! Hehe~ Wait and wait and wait. Finally had our flash mob around 11:30am!

My "girl" Yew Joe! XD

So boring before the flash mob~

Party with WC during flash mob~

Dennis sent Seven and I back to Sunway. We slept like dead people in studio until our rehearsal time. It was my first time sleeping on studio carpet and I slept like nobody's business. I was like, I DON'T FUCKING CARE BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING SLEEPY!

8 April 2011: Zouk KL

First time being a show girl with Seven and Sin Pei. Revealing costume and high heels. All along I was afraid to do this but after everything was over, I wanna do it again! I don't care how you look at it. Cheap, no standard, no class, whatever. Ask yourself, are you able to do it? Standing above hundreds of people who are watching you dancing on high heels. Good thing is, the bouncers are around you, looking after you. Hehehehe~ Thank you Sin Pei and Sin Pei's boyfriend for the ride.

;)

After Zouk freestyle show~

9 April 2011: Camel "Black And White" product launch at Hyatt Hotel Kuantan

Slept at 4:30am after the Zouk show and woke up at 7am to rush to KL Sentral! But still thanks god for such a good life~

Showcase and freestyle with Seven, Ting Dong and Sin Pei. 4 beauty girls all the way from KL to Kuantan in a big van. Nice lunch in a restaurant with fish noodle, lala, etc! Woohooooo~

14 April 2011: Diva Production make-up academy anniversary at Sungei Wang

I had to impersonate Sammi Cheng! But only for 30 seconds! But the nike eyebrow was seriously making my face looked so fierce. Hahahaha~ Yayyy~ We got some Mac products worth around RM600. I don't know because I'm not pro with Mac products. Haha.

Seriously ugly and fierce! Only 30 seconds and no one screamed for this! Better not to draw it since the beginning! My face looked so stupid!

Dessert time after Diva showcase. The 3 who always share and care. Haha~

Yahoooooo~ Our Mac make-up products from Diva Production! So it worth RM500-700 here! Because I've got 2 Fafi limited edition products here. Okayyyy~ I need to get a new bigger make-up bag now!

15 April 2011: Zouk KL

We had a quick stage running at Midvalley before we rushed to Zouk. Thanks Yvonne Kan for the "wack" house steps that made my feet so tired and weak! My legs were shaking after I put on my high heel boots. I couldn't even stand steadily, especially the podium in Zouk where I had nothing to hold. Almost sprained my ankle and fell down from the podium! But luckily I didn't. Hehehe~ I don't know why my feet were so weak suddenly. But the boots were seriously killing me. Arghhhh... Wack wack.

16 April 2011: Optical 88 fashion showcase at Midvalley

So we had to promote the sunglasses from Optical 88 and wear it for showcase. Usually I'll be on full energy for MJ "Beat It" but when the song started, I tried and realized, I couldn't! Seriously wack all the way. Maybe my feet were still killing me. Arghhh... Wack again!

Coming up showcases:

19 April 2011, magic showcase at Genting Highlands

22 April 2011, Zouk KL

29 April 2011, Zouk KL

30 April 2011, fashion showcase at One Utama

30 April 2011, Zouk KL

More please?

Imma show girl because I like to do show!

當一切開始得很甜美，維持得很淡～

2011-04-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

一切認識得很突然；

一切進展得很偶然；

一切暫停得很瞬間。

一切由一張撲克牌起步；

一切由一個美夢延續；

一切由一個復合打斷每一個夢想。

你突然間出現在我眼前阻擋著我，

足以證明世上是有緣份這東西，

彼此深深的眼神交流，

到如今還是無法忘記。

與你的夢境偶然浮現在我睡眠中，

足以證明世上是有神奇這東西，

夢裡的美麗甜蜜情景，

到如今還是無法捨去。

發現你期待已久的感情復合終於實現，

足以證明世上是有悲慘結局這東西，

在酒店里獨自忍受悲痛，

到如今還是無法治療。

一切重複得很無奈；

一切繼續得很抗拒；

一切保持得很普遍。

一切由數張照片起步；

一切由一個解釋延續；

一切由一個堅持保持每一個談話。

偶然間又發現你與她接吻的照片，

足以證明女人的直覺是準確的，

照片里的你們多麼親密，

到如今還是無法刪去。

你忽然間發信息給我解釋，

足以證明其實你很害怕你很介意我的氣怒，

可是事實的你們是怎樣，

到如今還是無法知道。

你還是會跟我聊天，

足以證明其實你不想失去我這位朋友，

可是當時你所擅過的謊言，

到如今還是無法原諒。

一切回來得很驚喜；

一切發展得很輕快；

一切發生得很驚訝。

一切由我的離去起步；

一切由我們的重逢延續；

一切由一個吻開發每一道甜美的路程。

當你知曉我的心已離去你，你堅持要我快樂，

足以證明世上有風水輪流轉這東西，

當時你的心是否會比我痛，

到如今還是無法得知。

相隔七個月我們終於重逢，

足以證明緣份還存在的，

當我發現手機里有你拍的照片而感到驚訝，

到如今還是無法相信。

你的一個吻偷偷親在我臉上，

足以證明世上是有奇蹟這東西，

一切發生得很突然也很驚訝，

到如今還是無法接受。

一切開始得很震憾；

一切繼續得很甜美；

一切維持得很清淡。

我們能夠正式開始一斷戀愛，

足以證明世上是有希望這東西，

我們開始得很震憾，

到如今還是難以置信。

每段戀愛的開始都是那麼的純那麼的甜美，

足以證明我的世界里是有愛情的，

那些兩人一起的回憶，

到如今一想起依然會甜笑。

兩人各自身軀相隔數千里，

足以證明要相見是很困難的，

日子慢慢的過去慢慢的渡過，

到如今卻慢慢變得很清淡。

也許雙方都有自己無可奉告的苦衷

我並不渴望你知曉我為你怎樣付出

只希望這份感情可以不變

只希望你像當初一開始一樣

多麼重視我

小小的細節雖小

可是足以讓心裡覺得甜蜜

不想因為這樣而繼續變淡下去

曾經試過努力把感情帶回起來

可是總覺得很累很累

為你付出得很累很煩惱

希望自己做得那麼多會有美好的回報

對女生來說真的不簡單

希望自己還可以撐下去

家人再怎麼不能接受

再怎麼反對

我決定的事沒人能控制

除非是你這位當事人

狠狠的破碎這夢想

所以我還是會繼續為你而努力

希望你也是

雖然有許多承諾你都不能保守到

只要你也與我一樣為彼此而奮鬥

一起維持這份美麗的愛情就足夠了

時間再過快一點

就差那麼的一點

希望一切都順利成功

就算會分離

也請讓我這次的任務成功後再說吧

雖然是多麼的不值得

可是人總要嘗試

去努力爭取自己認為的快樂

嘗試後再問我值不值得吧！

He's A Gift & A Miracle In My Life~ ♥

2011-04-17T00:30:00.009+08:00

I have never expected everything I was chasing after would turn back to me again when I had given it up. I always wanted it to come but it didn't. And after I had decided to leave for a better life, it returned so surprisingly. I wished it wouldn't happen but sometimes what I did, the opportunity I had given, had just made way for the beginning.

20.03.2010

That was when we met all of sudden in the hotel. If he wasn't drunk and didn't approach me first, I wouldn't have interested to make friends with him.

11.07.2010

The dream that led to everything. I wasn't thinking about him. I didn't watch anything similar with the dream. But it just happened. So clear, real and surprising. I always thought it might be a signal to something. But through days we had tried to understand each other, I guess it was really just a dream that I had to end it...

30.07.2010

He asked Kenny to teach him a sentence in Bahasa Malaysia. And that was "Saya suka kamu."

Tell me what it simply meant to be? Or perhaps it was just an unreal compliment and a joke. Maybe he was just being playful. But that would be my first miracle he had brought for me. Somehow, I believed.

13.08.2010

Singapore, officially met as friends, face to face.

14.08.2010

First time watched him battling so clearly.

Seriously I couldn't understand. I thought I was supposed to be the shy person. I didn't know he was too. But why? His friends kept teasing us. But I cannot forgive how fucking hancai was he when I tried to ask him questions and all he gave me was a smile, a smile and a smile. I walked alone along the empty street to McDonald's at Bugis. Sundae cone, first gift ever from him. Haha! I will not forget how far and how I traveled to look for him in Singapore with Cynthia! And thanks Becky for getting me there safely and perfectly with Cynthia. It was really the sweetest and funniest trip I ever had.

I always thought we could be better friends, a brother of mine. But I couldn't accept what had he lied to me. He knows better. I was seriously heart-broken, as a friend, as a brother. I moved on to new life that I claimed to be better. We lost contact for quite some time, for months, so that I could forget what I did not want to remember, and focus on what I was chasing after.

26.10.2010

First time we webcam together.

Webcam~ ♥

5.11.2010 midnight

First time, he texted me that he missed me and he loves me. But I guess it was just for a friend, for a brother, like what Miro and I always do for each other, it's a brotherhood. And I did reply as a friend because there was someone in my heart that period of time.

A sudden text message from him in the middle of the night~ ♥

20.12.2010

When he asked me if I would come for Radikal Forze Jam, and when I had decided to travel to meet the boys and new friends.

11.03.2011-20.03.2011

RF Jam, KL trip and BIBTS Volume 2.

The miracle happened, again. The impossible has become possible.

People couldn't believe, people were surprised. But they were not as compatible as I did, because I had never figured out it would turn real, it would come back again.

11.03.2011

You know I just wanted to meet him like a normal close friend, someone I called him as my brother. Seriously, no other special meaning or feelings at all. Because I believe what is over, has over as a plain memory. I knew he was curious with what I was thinking. Too bad I wasn't thinking about anything. Just wished to spend my time with everyone in Singapore, a fresh experience.

12.03.2011

Finally we have our first photo, together with Lady Seven.

First photo~ ♥

13.03.2011

First time we have our own photo together, although it looks weird. Haha!

It's such a lovely and sweet photo, if his face could be slightly more normal~ ♥

Adjusting~ ♥

Our first perfect photo together~

By the beach~

In Singapore~ ♥

14.03.2011

First time, he gifted me a flower, even though it's just a stray flower. I didn't really understand why, and I was surprised and shy. Hahaha~

Now I know why would he pluck and gift a flower for me~ ♥

15.03.2011

The day when I sort of confirmed what I had been suspecting. I thought he treated me like a close friend too. But I think close friend wouldn't do such a sweet thing. What was I supposed to react? Scream? Happy? Sad? Ask him? In the end I remain silent because that is up to him to continue his passion or same with me - REMAIN SILENT. I don't know. Sometimes I feel that it's better for me to act like as if I don't know anything than misunderstanding. Or act don't know because it would be so complicated then. Clear my mind. Don't think. Better.

All he has is this picture in a frame~

That he holds close to see my face everyday~

He loves the necklace I gifted him~ ♥

All for me~ ♥

A gift from him~ ♥

His important accessories~ New item: my polaroid photo from me~ ♥

16.03.2011

First time, he fed me with food at NZ. Haha! Sweet~

♥

We look so warm and lovely~ ♥

You're the reason I smile without a reason~ ♥

Only you and me~ Simple sweetness and happiness~ ♥

19.03.2011 midnight

Hancai and dizzy. But I knew what I was doing. You can say, I purposely lied down and slept, because my eyes were closing, but yet I wasn't sleepy. You can say, I purposely tested him and gave him the opportunity to see if he meant what he hinted. I know I'm the evil, I'm the bad girl. Haha. Once again, thank you Kenny Kentz and Lady Seven for giving him the courage to kiss me. I couldn't believe he did. Maybe I should have moved away when I sensed it? Haha. I don't know why I made it happened.

You know what? It was same with what I first dreamed about him. I didn't know dream could come true. At least it never happened before in my life. And now it did. So what should I do? Guess what? I pretend to continue sleeping. Because I didn't know what reaction I should give him when I opened my eyes. I knew he'd just smile at me. And now I can finally confirm all the clueless thoughts, all the question marks. My hands were cold. I tried to keep them under his arms. But then he took and kept them together with his hands. Somehow I just wanted to feel warm. So I let him hold them so tightly. But I couldn't sleep. So I left his hands, the boys and the room, back to my room, leaving the night so surprising but yet so miserable.

19.03.2011 afternoon

And so we moved on to the next level, to a level that I couldn't believe he'd want to reach. Seriously I tried not to face too much but maybe I was too naive to take it so easy. I simply just couldn't believe he kissed me just like that! My mind was blank. Maybe it reminds me of Ja! It's the same! Same thing happened. But I wasn't angry because I gave way for things to happen. Just that I need time to accept.

He could act like nothing happened during final battle. He could text me from 2 meters away asking me why did I look sad. So he thought he was the reason why I was sad. I wasn't sad, I was thinking, because I was confused and feeling complicated. I need to digest the incidents and understand my own feelings in order to assign the most accurate emotions. It's either he forgot about it completely, or he made a confession. Or else I'd be in total confusion of what I should do and how I should treat him.

20.03.2011 midnight

Thank you Lady Seven for having that bet with him so he would kiss my face right in front of everyone. Damn. Haha. Just another sleepless night as I looked out the window, continued thinking about everything. It was getting deeper and more emotional but under control. You know I have a limit for everything I do, what can and what cannot. It was krazy and funny. I giggled and smiled for the whole night because of what he did and what he said. I know he couldn't leave me nor let me go. Because he was holding my hands so tight, hugging me so close.

20.03.2011 morning

Said goodbye to our first time~

Officially one year of meeting and knowing each other.

One year ago, his eyes staring so seriously into my eyes, showing his magic card for less than 5 minutes.

One year later, we were so close together for the whole night and week.

21.03.2011

Another "I love you", but I guess he really meant it. I didn't react much because I was still confused, but yet I was happy with how brave, true and straight forward he was.

;)

24.03.2011 midnight

The night when I decided to give everything a chance.

I tried to understand, what he wanted me to do, who he wanted me to treat him as and what did he want. I'm seriously someone who makes everything clear and understood so there's no misunderstanding or confusion. If he's my boyfriend, he is; if he's my friend or brother, he is. So I could move on better and clearer. At first I was kind of heart-broken when he just wanted me to remember what we did before. It was fine for me if he wanted it to be that way, at least I knew what should I do then. But after that he told me he'll do something for me when we meet again. After I had finally understood his meaning, I decided to give a green light between us.

"Love u too." "Em yeu anh."

"Saya cinta kamu."

24.03.2011 afternoon

Officially in a relationship with Thach Son Tung~

♥

He's the guy who always makes me smile for nothing.

He always has his own ways in writing or webcam to put on so many smiles on my face.

Or simply because he's the reason why I smile so sweetly.

Long distance.

Young.

Communication.

Unblessed love.

There are many problems that normal couple will not face. Or they might be only facing 1 or 2 problems above.

We don't see each other everyday, maybe few months once, except during webcam session.

We don't have the same thinking and understanding due to our age difference, except believing each other with what we do.

We don't text each other so frequently except chatting in Yahoo Messenger.

We never make calls to each other before except some hand signs during webcam session.

We may not be able to express ourselves so well with words due to our language difference except we make the sentences simple or we keep the words to ourselves.

We don't have anything for each other, but we have love.

I know it's an unblessed love. At least I know my mum was mad about it, and many people feel awkward with this pairing. People judge people by the face, the outer look, the age, the color skin, the nationality, etc. People don't believe in people. They just simply do not understand. Even if I'll be the last one standing on the ground to fight for this love, I'll fight alone till world ends, till I die. Because I like what I do, I do what I like, and I do what I believe is right. Even though I've no confident how far and how long I can bring this to, I just do whatever I can to keep this, as long as he'll do this with me too.

There are many people who had questioned me, "Why would you bring so many troubles for yourself? You have plenty of choices. You know so many people and so many people know you."

And even he questioned me before, "You ever feel sad?? When deciding to love me?"

I said...

Life has ups and down, full of challenges. There is success, there is failure. I will not afraid to try many things in life, because I hate to regret in my life. And chance never come second time in life, or maybe you have to wait for many years for the second chance. If I will fail with what I decide, I will be fine, because I know at least I have tried. Even though there are many difficult things stop me from what I'm doing, they will not make me give up, because I believe with my sense, I believe in the people I choose in my life. If one day I find the people I choose, hurt me, I will want them to pay back double.

Thanks to my previous love, I'm able to live tougher, I've a stronger heart. Maybe this is only the beginning, maybe we haven't met again. Time will pass, feelings will fade. I will do my best to keep it fresh as if it just happened yesterday, I will do my best of what a girlfriend has to do. But what we have now is the same memories we're stuck at since we last together. I just can't wait for another memories to be created again.

I wish what I planned will work and succeed.

I wish it will remain as a secret until I reveal it by myself.

I wish everything will be fine and great.

I wish the day comes quickly.

I wish we can remain sweet and lovely for each other.

I wish there are only you and me.

I wish we can stay the same, or be better.

And I wish I am thinner!

Hahahaha!

I have never had such an experience before. Everything is so sweet, dope and fresh to me!

I believe...

He's a gift and a miracle in my life~

Gifted from Buddha, after all the miserable loves I had experienced in the past.

I will forget about tarot cards for now, even though it is true.

But I will give my best to him for now.

Live life without regrets ♥

Love and peace~ ♥

My Past Loves

2011-04-08T17:19:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I'm not a good lover, I'm not a girl with lots of love experience, with a happy ending for each and every of them. I broke their hearts, and so did they. I always wanted to have my first love during high school. But what guys wanted is a pretty face and I had missed it.

Yet I almost started a relationship with a senior who is 4 years old than me. His name is Swee Leong. I couldn't remember his surname. I should have remembered. :p Which later on I broke his heart when I decided to look into his classmate. What is left between us is a medium-sized bunny soft toy he bought for my birthday. His first confession, along with a sad message. I'm so sorry because I was too young to understand about KARMA. Sorry for giving hope, sorry for breaking your heart.

1999 to present.

Walked with me for 12 years.

Walked with me on Astro Batteground 2010 Final.

Awarded me a Champion.

Are you my lucky star?

So I was then left hanging without any guys around. Guess that I was too tough, too power, too sporting and too tomboy for guys to come near me. TEEHEEE~ X)

2004, started my dance classes and met my first instructor by the name Tan Chong Min. He was short and ugly which then I discovered he's full of patience and passion in teaching that had got me so interested with him. Amazing? Haha! I don't know. Maybe it was but sooner it became disaster.

We started our relationship officially on 6 May 2004. Our first love for each other. Everything was so miserable. But surprisingly we were attached to each other for years. We danced, we taught, we performed, we trained, we played, we hang out, we worked, we did everything together for days, months and years. He's my supporter in everything I wanna do. I failed, I fell down and he carried me up back as a better person.

After years and years, life changed and changed when I finally managed to step up in my dance world. I decided to leave my love for something I claimed as "better", "new" and "fresh". But in the same time, he stepped up in his dancing career too. I felt like I'm just a small little immature girl who kept circling around him like a nobody. I felt that I wasn't a match to him. So near yet the hearts were so far. And simply because I'm not interested with the world he's trying to encounter. 3 June 2009, we broke up and ended our 5 years and 1 month of relationship.

We didn't take many pictures to show the world we were once together.

And I couldn't believe our first ever photo shooting would be used as an official poster for Suntec Dance Competition 2010 in Singapore, after 3 years.

Inmagine photo shooting 2007.

We did not announce to the world about our love. Dancers around knew by themselves upon introduction. Sometimes people didn't know we were together until friends around us told them. We were so low profile. Or you could say, we didn't know how to love each other better. Perhaps, I wasn't in love at all.

I kept searching and waiting for someone to come into my life again. But realized there wasn't anyone. Until a stranger appeared, a friend of Angelyne. His name is Toki Yeen Teck Yin (if I'm not mistaken), some playboy who is 1 year younger than me. I can't remember. We got together some time a week before my birthday. I was so in love with him, for no reason why the hell I did. His family owns a bungalow, around 7 to 9 cars. He was too mysterious with the things he did. Sad thing was, he couldn't even remember my birthday. So I assumed he was after me due to my fame, what I'm doing, and he could use me to get what he wanted and make a fame for himself. After that, he could dump me like nobody's business.

Sorry. He did such a great mistake that I care so much: SPEND MY BIRTHDAY WITH MY LOVED ONE. I dumped him a week later after our relationship, even though I loved him so much. But I couldn't forgive of how wack he is. Luckily, I didn't lose anything for him. So I couldn't really remember the memories with him. Better not to remember. :)

Our first picture together after the break up. :)

I was tired of looking and searching for a person whom I can trust and rely. 2 December 2009, I united with Chong Min, again, who is later better known as Bobby Tan. But the love was on and off when we started to get busy with our own targets. Or you could say, my feelings were unstable. How much I tried to strive, to be a more well-known person, in order to be on the same track with you, to be nearer to what your identity is, so that I wouldn't feel too far away. I knew you never bothered who I really am. You wouldn't know the feeling when you were standing so high above, and I was just the lost little girl so down beneath, heading nowhere, but waiting alone. You'd never know.

1 October 2010, once again, ended our 6 years of long relationship. Too many years yet still feeling sad sometimes when I think back again how I broke his heart for so many times. He's the reason I learned about KARMA. One day, he will surely find someone so much better than me. Someone who will not break his heart so deeply. Can't deny we're still attached indirectly due to career. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, so that it doesn't remind you or me of anything, cut it all off straight away and right away.

Floor Combat 2010.

Sweetest picture ever together that I'm still keeping in my wallet for fun.

It's an expensive polaroid from Yusuf.

And this following guy, so far to be the last one to appear surprisingly. I knew I shouldn't have reviewed his identity. But I guess what he had done should have come to an explanation. He must be responsible with what he did before to his girlfriend and to me. :)

I met this guy during my movie shooting in Penang with a China crew. He's a well known skateboarder in Malaysia, famous by the name Ja Chicken aka Muhammad Nizar bin Hashim. I believe I do look like his girlfriend that made him came near me. I don't usually approach guys unless they make the first move. And usually they break my heart so painfully. So did he. We didn't hang out much when we first met. But since it was a boring moment to go through in Penang, we became good friends later on. Laughed and chilled out together. So that's how we basically got closer to each other.

I always believe I could do so much better than his girlfriend. Celebrated his birthday, I supported him during his skateboard competitions, I accompanied him when he was working alone, I bought dinner for him, be there when he wanted me to, etc. We were once so sweet when we spent time together. I couldn't forgive how his girlfriend scolded him for nothing. But what he cares is just the so-called love of his girlfriend. I didn't over do. I just showed how much I care. It was him who made the first move in everything. I waited for him everyday, doing nothing. He'd find me when he was lonely.

I had tried to leave, but when I left, he'd appear and pull me back indirectly. I was trapped so deep into him. But I never regret doing so much for him. Because it was once a beautiful love I tried to struggle in him and out of him. 3 December 2010, that was our last hug, before I moved on to a bigger mission in life. I will still wish him all the best with his girlfriend, better than ever, because she's whom he picked. :)

Sometimes I will think of him. 183cm, tall and thin, 3 years younger, Malay-Chinese, well-known in his field, a Virgo. But we are just not meant for each other anymore. ;)

Only quarter was mine.

But actually I owned nothing at all.

The guy who ever broke my heart so deeply.

There's a reason why I wanted to introduce each and every of my past official and unofficial loves. Stay tune for the next post. I'm gonna introduce my present love~ :)

Halley Crew (Vietnam) in Malaysia

2011-04-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

I guess not many people know who is Halley Crew, where do they come from, what do they do, who represents Halley Crew, etc etc. I'm not gonna introduce them because you can just youtube for their videos. Peace~ :)

So ummm I stopped at where they overnight at Kenny's house. His house cannot fit 6 men so they had to travel to Sunway Pyramid to meet me up. End up chilling at Street Nation for awhile, then moved to Sun Inns Hotel in Sunway Mentari. Yeah! Finally~ I didn't know guys could be so slow! Hahahahaha!

Oooppsss.. I'm really sorry. I didn't know the room could be this small! For 5 people. I don't know. I was feeling complicated. Felt sorry to them but I think this is the best I could do! :(

Chilled in the room. Went out for dinner in Jalan Alor! But Small River and Phuc didn't follow! What a waste! Hehe~ GOOD! Damn super good! Put me and him in the same taxi! But it's ok. I didn't feel shy or what. I just feel tired~ XP

Sunway baby! X)

Here we are in Jalan Alor finally! Yes! I was super duper marthafarka hungry and the guys were slow and killing me! Hahahaha! Ordered so much food but yet not enough! At least it's not enough for me~ Lalalalala~ X)

3 mannequin models and a coconut model! XD

Wow! Special discovery! Haha!

Fire Crew and Halley Crew in da house! :)

Why so serious? XD

They like to imitate how I act cute~ -.-"

Cheeeeeeers~ :)

Pavilion! Hahaha!

Walked to Pavilion, then sent them back to hotel. I was waiting for Bobby. Need to check my BlackBerry for messages which later on I was curious with an email draft. My eyes went like 0_0 when I discovered something. I didn't know what to do and what reaction I should give. The first thing that came across my mind is whatsapp all the photos to my iPhone. Then I kept silent about my discovery. X)

Wonderful~ :)

A gift from him~ :)

For me~ :)

His accessories~ ;)

16 March 2011, Batu Caves and KLCC here we go! I had never been to Batu Caves seriously! Yes, I'm a KL girl but I HAD NEVER VISITED THIS HISTORICAL PLACE BEFORE. Hahahaha! Hell yeah I felt good climbing the stairs! Not a problem! Hahaha! And we were there together with Bboy Bojin and BBoy Taower from HRC Taiwan, as well as their tour guide Bobby Tan. Hahaha~

Halley in Batu Caves! :)

The stairs~ :))

Halley (Vietnam), HRC (Taiwan), Famous Crew (Malaysia), PEZ (Malaysia) and Soul Krazy (Malaysia) in da house! :)

Heading to NZ Garden Cafe! Makan makan! Eat eat! Aikssss.. Lost my appetite when I'm stressed up like this. Hahahaha~ It's a nature in me. XP Ordered so many roti-roti. So fast full? I couldn't believe! Haha!

NZ mamak baby! Lady Seven and my all-time favorite! :)

KLCC here we go!

Huhuhu~ So sweet~ :)

Happy moments~ :)

KLCC~ :)

Off and back to hotel, while Seven and I headed to Street Nation Puchong with Yew Joe for dance dance dance. X)

Small River and Lady Seven. So sweeeet~ :)

Phuc, today is a good day to smile~ :)

17 March 2011, had to trouble Seven to send those boys to bus terminal. They're off to Muar without me because I had an audition to go through. Aiksssss... Such a coincident. I wished I could be in the same bus with them. Haha~ But career comes first. :) So I headed down to Muar with Bobby, BBoy Bojin and BBoy Taower.

Seriously I couldn't sleep well. Imagine on my right side was a mountain of luggages and bags that could fall on me anytime. And on my left side was the muscular BBoy Taower. I should have followed the bus IF I COULD. Aiksssss... BBoy Bojin, "Can? I'm afraid Taower's wife isn't happy!" Bobby, "Don't touch him ya." WHAT THE HELL?!!! It's like I'm gonna do something to him! WHAT THE FUCK~! Since when I'm such an asshole bitchy slut???? And guess what? In the end BBoy Taower slept so soundly and comfortably until his head lied on my left shoulder, and continued sleeping so so so peacefully. GREAT! I act like I was sleeping so that when he woke up, he wouldn't feel so shy. I remained the position for like 10 minutes and I almost cramped. And yeah. My mission failed because when he woke up, he saw me touch-screen-ing my iPhone. Opppssss... So shy wei! -.-"

Reached Muar and yeahhhh... Stayed next door with Halley. X)

Look how Tu wear me and Lady Seven's flip flop! Hahaha!

18 March 2011, Bring It Back To Street Volume 2, preliminary! Such a long sleepy day to spend through in the primary school. Haha! Richard Nguyen couldn't make it to Muar! No hancai!!! :(

I know what I can do, what I can't do. I just wanna watch how it's done. I'm not sure if I was affected but I know and I was conscious with what I was doing. And I trust the people around me could protect me. BBoy Blanka just couldn't stop looking at me. Maybe I'm the only chick left in the whole hotel because BBoy Bounce had booked Lady Seven. Hahaha! You know what? I'm not interested. -.-"

Seriously I was just tired, lazy and sleepy, but yet I couldn't fall asleep. Maybe I was feeling cold. And hell yeah.... Thank you Kenny Kentz and Lady Seven for what you had asked him to do. How can a person fall asleep within 5 minutes in sitting position when the person was so energetic 5 minutes ago? IMPOSSIBLE. You know what I'm saying? And yeah... He left my mind hanging and empty. What I was confused and suspected had given me an answer. The most amazing thing is, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. Out of my expectation, out of sudden. @@

19 March 2011, the final. So we had to wait until 7pm for final to start. Chilling inside the room again. They hancai so so badly especially Lady Seven. So I had to go to the venue later to make sure she didn't die inside the room. Hahaha! Yeah~ Luckily she survived. Phewwwwww~ It was really scary. You could say I didn't warn her, you could say as a friend I didn't do my part to stop her. But as a friend, I did analyze for her. I'm glad it happened in the afternoon because she could stay conscious at night, the last night in Muar. :)

Hello Kitty boxer! Ha kon is so cute~~~~ Shy boy~~~ X)

Talking about my part... SPEECHLESS. Something I didn't want it to come, had come. I knew it would come, but I didn't know why I made it happened, why did I give it an opportunity to come. It reminds me of what happened in September 2010. Almost the same. But the feeling was different. What I kept thinking was, if I didn't make it happen, I might regret, but yet I was confused, and it was complicated. So I'd rather just do it, settle later.

I was almost late for the first battle but I made it. Just that I didn't have a nice spot to stand. So I stood with Vi Vien, Wendy, Angel, Raymond they all. I couldn't imagine we could act like nothing happen. Maybe it's a public place. So I was like... Okayyyy... I wasn't feeling sad. I didn't have my dinner, powerless, and I was thinking. I needed to think and I had to think!

Was having mild gastric so I felt like going back hotel immediately. Tired but yet my mind couldn't stop thinking, analyzing and deciding. While they hancai so so so krazily, I couldn't stop laughing at Satan, Small River and Lady Seven. Huhuhuhu~ Lady Seven and Small River, so sweeeeeeeet~ X) And I was worried with Phuc. He was like, so fucking hancai since afternoon. Haha!

So then I couldn't sleep again. And everyone fell asleep so peacefully around me. I looked out from the window, thinking again... I fell asleep so peacefully quite late after that but I couldn't sleep well. Woke up and fell asleep, woke up and fell asleep. Sorry Lady Seven for abandoning you. :p I love this kind of feelings, even though it reminds me of my previous one again. But thank you for making it more beautiful than him. At least I feel everything with such a memory is still beautiful somehow. :)

I left Muar early with Bobby, Lady Seven and Kenny. So then I left the boys and ended our 10 days of chilling, hanging out and traveling together. I didn't expect we could. Thank you Lady Seven for helping and accompanying. You know I couldn't do it alone. :) Thank you Kenny Kentz for taking care of the boys. You know you're so important between us. :) Thank you Bobby Tan for a wonderful ride. Thank you for improving in your no-sleep driving skill. Haha! It was raining so heavily, as if telling me something bad. So then, I continued thinking...

See you again my Vietnamese boys. :)