Hanoi Day 5 & 6 ♥

After Halley anniversary party, we were chilling in Puku Cafe to pass the time. They had showcase at 6am. LOL~ We took picture for the whole night. Unable to sleep is seriously torturing. When I'm lack of sleep, it's either I get mad or I get "drunk". Haha! With the people I love, I tend to get "drunk". LOL~

Sleeping so sweet. Haha! But just pretend.

Showcase finished at 10am. Went back hotel to copy the pictures and videos. My movements were very slow motion. Tired and sleepy. I think it took me 1 or 2 hours to finish copying, removing make up, taking shower, eating and tweeting. And someone had already become DEAD MAN for a long time. So I watched TV alone. Can't remember what was I watching. Music video or some English movie. Hoho~

Samsung Colby II showcase. Hahaha!

Totally collapsed until evening. 2 dead people. Haha! Then we were watching some dance videos, with my eyes couldn't open and couldn't see because I wasn't wearing specs. It was 7pm already I think. Then we went to eat dinner with his family. PIZZA. Haha! I thought they would bring me to eat Vietnamese food. LOL~ And once again... SHY. HAHAHAHAHA! Damn it. Suddenly they wanted me to visit his grandmother. OKAY. Awkward moments again because I don't understand, and they don't understand. Yeah. SHY. Again. LOL~

Relatives and brother.

:)

Last day chilling with everyone in Hanoi. We went to night market, eat hot pot and chilling in a historical place. Then back to hotel and watched football. WHAT? LOL~ That's boring. Haha! After I finished shower, someone slept like a dead man again. NOT MOVING AT ALL. WTF! LOL~ It was 4am when I got to bed. I thought of staying awake until 9am. But the night was really still long staying awake alone with a stupid sleeping dead man beside me who slept so peacefully. LOLLLLLLLL! So I slept too.

Night market.

:)

Last place of chilling with everybody even though they were all tired.

I remember he kept reminding me to wake him up before I go to airport. I was like, yes, sure. He scared I left silently without him. HAHA! Yeah. If I'm willing, I would, so that I wouldn't have to see how sad you are and how sad the situation would be.

And yeah... The time had come. Time to get up and get to airport. I put few things deep inside his Crumpler bag when he was taking shower. Yeah. You can say I'm stupid. Haha. Whatever. Fuck the taxi because the radio kept playing sad songs. WTF! Hahahaha! Even though I couldn't understand, but the music is sad. Damn it. So I kept looking out from the window again. I hope nobody saw it. LOL~ Fuck this kind of moments because it's really sad and suffering. LOL~ For me I wasn't sad because I had to leave, I was sad because how he held my hands made me feel all his sadness deep within. I said before, if only I could take all his pain and sadness away. But I know, we have to dissolve it ourselves inside. I had tried my best to do what I could to make your days. So you need to overcome this on your own now. :)

In taxi.

:)

I was too early to reach airport because the counter was not opened yet. Damn. 2 hours of waiting. Took picture again. And recorded some stupid video. WTF! Damn funny and shy. HAHAHA!

:)

All-time favorite. Haha!

Stupid sunglasses couple.. Haha!

I had to leave now. I went to the officer, he kept looking at me and him, he kept smiling at us. I was like, "What? What's so funny?" He asked me, "Your boyfriend?" "Yeah. Vietnamese." And he continued smiling. Damn. Haha.

Sent messages to Satan, Phuc and Bao Chau. But before I wanted to send to C-Floor, he already sent me. LOL~ And the last one I sent to was him because the message was long and most meaningful. Haha! Guess what? His mobile phone was out of battery. DAMN IT! Hahaha. So he didn't know there was something in his bag until the second day. VERY DOPE!

Back to Malaysia. Life was different. Worse because I wasn't used to it living without him. Better because I've grown up as someone different with new experience in most of the things. It took me some time to back to life in Malaysia. I didn't know what I had to do next. Just continue walking this road until I've found the answer.

♥ 24.05.11 to 29.05.11 ♥

Our official first time...

Sometimes I don't know what's the meaning of everything. Why I always choose the toughest road to walk this life? Because I like something challenging and different? Because no one can inspire me here? Because no one I can trust here? Because no one can make me feel better? So now we are both living in different pain in different countries. I can't remember since when I can live a life on my own so well. Even now life is different, I'm still living a life on my own here. Earn hard, work hard, all for one thing. I don't know if this is how life should be. But I know it's time for another change again. I can't just earn hard, work hard and spend on one thing forever while waiting. It's time for a better plan, since all I can do is wait.

I've already tried my best to tolerate. Tried my best to make the distance closer. I fell down, I was sick, I was injured, I was hurt, to make wish come true faster. But I know the more I want it to turn real, the further and harder it is. I really don't know what else can I do. I'm just a girl. You know I don't have to be like this. I'm just a girl. I wish I can be a stupid, weak, naive, tame girl and fully rely on someone. But everything in life keeps improving me to be smarter, tougher, stronger, more independent BUT more arrogant, stubborn and cold-hearted.

I wish you can be greater regardless of age. I wish I can just fully rely everything on you. I wish I can just be the girl to have all the pamper.

Life is not about being unlucky for not having this and that, not about having fucked up people around giving you shits. It's about how you turn everything to go your way. Every lucky person has their own side of unlucky, whether they want to reveal it or not. What you see from the eyes always can't be judged correctly. Depends how deep can you discover the truth.

Sometimes, I really wish I could be a man. So that I can throw away this weak part of myself. So that I can fight stronger and go further. But I'm just a girl...